guilt of a son

Im still awake. Emo-ing bcoz im going back tmr morn. I mean later at 9am. Coincidentally, my fren jz said smtg wic really saddened me.

I told her, Vivien Chang that she has not been updating her blog. She’s surprised that I read her blog.

She also said “for now i juts treat it as a place for me to let out n record my emotions so that i nxt time can look back n see whoa i experience this b4,im not gonna repeat those silly mistakes again. so i wasnt thinking of ppl reading it la. unless if i got write better stuff there lolx. i oso keep my pics on fb,cuz in case computer kena reformat again..i realize i din really take pics of myself when i was younger. so nxt time i wanan hav something to look back on my own face lo. i like to record things up wan lolx.”

I was like kena slap when she said that. Im not angry. She din offend me. No. My heart breaks because I din take pics wif any of my family members. I mean duo pics. Truths are painful. Painful. It’s so painful.

What kind of son i am? I used my parents money to get my camera n some camera gadgets. I took pics of everything. I took pics with everyone. I have pics of everyting. I captured memories of other ppl. I document other people’s life.

But.. where is the pics of me n my parents? I call myself sentimental, sensitive, expressive. I love old stuffs. But hei! Where are the pics of me n my bro? where are the pics of me n my sis? Where r the pics of me n my mum? Whr r the pics of me n my dad?

I cant recall at all when was the last time I took pic wif any of them. Yea we had family photo last year during my sister’s bday bt not this yr cz I was in Kampar. I cant recall I took any duo pics wif any of them since I got my own camera in 2003.

Arrghh! This is so hurtful! I hate myself!! Y now oni I realised.. a pic mayb just a pic. It may not means anyting to u. But a pic for me means more than just a pic. I’ve been recording my life thru photography. Sadly to say, I din use it to record my family’s life.

A pic brings a family together. It creates love. It documents memories that will nvr be repeated again. It captures moments that last forever. It reminds us of the past. It shows us how life has changed over the years.

I dun wana take pics wif them when only they have died. I don’t want. Im already 21. They are almost 50. Anything can just happened like Michael Jackson n Yasmin Ahmad. Im gona hate myself when im old for not taking pics wif them.

I noe the truth. The truth is im not a good child. Really im not. I may not be a good son but I love them. I really love them. I just duno how to show it. I cant. I silently quietly pray for them, hoping they are fine n safe. I cried in my prayer. Sumtimes I ask from the God to shorten my life so that my family members can live longer.

NEVER IN MY LIFE I SAY TO THEIR FACE ‘I LOVE YOU’.

Never! I never hug them too. I've huggeg my sister only. No one know how guilty I am. My tears are not gona change anything. I guess I’ll only say the 3 letter words when they are not breathing anymore.

I promised myself I’ll take pics with everyone of them, one by one, the next time I come back to penang.

*Anyway im not angry at Vivien. Not at all. I wana thank her for waken me up. I’ve learnt a lot about family love from my JR classmates in UTAR. Thanks a lot.

the 'thing' is getting bigger

If u read my blog, you'll now noe that i have some sickness or i'll cal it illness. No one knows what is it. No one. I never tell anyone about it, not even my parents or her. Im scared. Im shy. There's nonit to tok about it i think. U sick, ur prob la, y wana trouble ur frens n parents. i dun1 anyone to be worried.

Tonite i decided to wrote what im facing after 2months. This 'thing' has bothering me since my semester break in May. It is one of the reasons y i neglect my studies and couldnt concentrate in my studies. It's so sickening, disturbing n irritating.

Tonite the wound bleeds. yea.. I see blood. It has been getting bigger and bigger. Yet, no one notice it because it's cover by clothes. It's unseen by naked eyes.

it's painful.

it bleeds.

it's ichy.

If you ask me what is it? sorry i wont tell. i just kenot tel. i duno how to say it out. it's not like flu, fever, sorethroat or cough. It is smtg more serious than that.

Y i never see doctor n get proper treatment? I dare not to see doctor. I nvr like to spend $ on health. I'm a person who alwayz belive that the sickness can just cure by itself. I'll leave it thr n i wont do anyting abt it. I noe I'm just killing myself. God knows what is the 'thing'.

i miss yasmin

Helo.. I feel so uneasy for not blogging this few days. I write actually. I write a lot these few days. Just that I din post it in my blog. Anyway im still in Penang. Im going bck tmr, 9am bus.

Right now at this moment, im watching Petronas advertisemnets. Yasmin Ahmad came into my mind. I miss her. I still couldnt believe that she has passed away.. i couldn’t hold back my tears. it's so hurtful watching someone’s work when the person has gone.

She’s not gona come back. no.. she wont.. MJ has gone too.. y one after anotheR? Y cant good ppl live a little longer? Dey will forever be remembered for their achievements and the message in every of their works which has touch our hearts.

balik kampung

penang im coming. wait for me!

Interpersonal Communication-Midterm

ok. exam in 1hour time.

date: 26 july 2009

time: 10am-11am

venue: DDK1

preparation: notes

results: DIE LA!

QUOTE of the day

just because u r loyal, doesnt means u r desperate. love is the best gift ever from God. u dun force to love n be loved. there's NOTHING wrong to love someone! to love someone is hard, but to forget and leave behind ur love is even harder, painful and hurtful. it's like a deep stab down to your hearth, slicing ur skin into pieces, kiiling u softly.

ehehe

eheh

rain PLEASE stop

omg! it's already 7.45am.

y the rain is getting heavier?

STOP la.

wa mau pigi sikolah la.

lu ini maciam hujian hujian olang olang susah lu tau ka.

sikit-sikit cukup la.

dangerous mau bawak kapcai lu tau ka.

nanti wa tak mau fren sama lu.

stop ok? slow sikit yeh..

later wa blnja sama lu gula-gula.

tankiu ye.. =p

rain DON'T stop!

I feel lazy to go to class la. aduih… clas at 8am. I woke up at 5am to do my assignments. Then 6.15am it rain so heavily. Gila babi lebat oo.. da wind oso very strong.

Haha! so nice to sleep.

BUT I DIDN’T.

I was like hoping the rain can stop. By 7.15am the rain has slowdown. Sikit2 la.. suddenly I feel like ponteng. Haha! I dun wana go… lazy la.. so cold out thr. Later the wind blow me away.

arrrghh! Y the rain has to stop?? hujan la. kasi besar mia. Kasi besar2. BESAR! Bagi tuakang punya! Make Kampar flooded. We tenggelamkan da lakes in Kampar. Everyone sleeps at home. Everyone nonit go to uni. Ahahaahah! How nice is that.

Anyway thanks to my clasmate, Saravani. So nice of her to ask her fren to come fetch me. I was like alooo wa mau ponteng la! Y raining oso wana go to sch la.. hmm.. I noe she wont ponteng la. she’s a very nice gal, alwaz scold me. haha! I feel so bad nia if I ponteng.

7.30am the rain getting lesser. Drizzling la.. sikit2 belum jadi bukit. Hmm.. yea2. Im getting ready to go to sch now. i changed my mind la. But i'm not going with Saravani, im riding coz i need to go home ASAP!

WA TAK MAU PONTENG!

i need some rest

I'm going back to PEnang this saturday. i need some rest in the place where i belong. i was too lazy n down dis semester. i've changed negatively. im looking for peace. im waiting for the sun to shine again..

i blog quite often recently. i duno y. do u noe? maybe..

1) i feel it's time to let out what's in my heart and mind?

2) i 1 some attention?

3) im too lonely and i need to tok to someone?

4) i'm tired of writing journal n kip it all myself?

5) it's one of the things that i can leave behind to my frens if smtg hppen 2me?

6) 2 update my frens n da one i love?

selamat malam

Good night
I wana sleep d
Yea 10pm d
My teachers used to day must sleep at 10pm
Sufficient sleep is good for our body and mind
Haha
Im too tired la
Will wake up at 3am la
See u
Taata

selamat pagi

Good morning world!
What an achievement.
I didn’t sleep the whole night.
i guess the KOPI O KAO is too kao
I spent my night in front of my laptop.
Did many things.
My class at 10am.
Partial solar eclipse is gona happened later at abt 8.15am.
Hungry now.
Im going out to makan.
Wana join me? Let’s go! =p

rintihan

orang yang patut baca tak baca...

my roomate kena SAMAN

this is a story abt my roomate, Gan Siang Yong.

He woke up around 11.50pm and he wanted to go out for supper wif my hsemate. he nk motor. I ok 2lend him bt duno y I din say yes. so finali dey keluar.

suddenly he called me at 12.37am. he kena saman! Shit la! he din wear helmet. I scold him! Den oni I realised he curi2 take my bike. I tot he din use cz he din ask da key from me. I was so angry n hot. Seriously!

Firstly he din ask me for the key n he took it curi2, use my bike without permission. Secondly he doesnt has lesen. Thirdly he din wear helmet! Wat if the polis 1 2 cari pasal and take away my bike?! Policemen can just accuse u and bully u especially if u r new to saman-ing and duno your basic rights. They can oso say dis is motor curi bcoz lesen talak, helmet pun talak!

I dun mind lend him my bike bt becareful la. see la now he kena saman. I hate ppl invade my privacy n use my ting without telling me. i pantang gila babi when the ting is so private. im soory la for being so honest. Good frens don’t mind if frens use their tings. But depends what is it.

Anyway my instinct was so chun. When he ask me can he use my bike jz nw, my mind was thinking abt him kena saman because more policemen on da road recently. Manatau cun-cun he kena. He's super lucky bcoz the policemen din ask for his lesen. if not die la!

He did smtg wic really annoyed and saddened me. He wanted to 'settle' it when the policemen stop him. So thhe policemen ask him 'brapa u mau kasi'. What the fuck la! GIVE U SHIT LA POLICEMEN! At the end my fren couldnt settle it because too many of dem. aih.. i HATE PPL GIVING AND RECEIVING BRIBE.

after he kena saman, he can still happily go yumcha n came bck oni at 1.20am. ayoyo amma! i feel like kick him at the ass!

TOLONG PAKAI HELMET. KALAU TAKMAU KEPALA HOTAK U, GO BANG ON DA WALL INSTEAD!

looking for chin eng

chin eng is missing

chin eng is trying hard to look for himself as he has lose himself

chin eng don't have the answer for 'what is your problem?'

chin eng has changed

chin eng is not asking for sympathy

chin eng made a lot of mistakes this semester since june

chin eng has offended his good friends

chin eng feels really sorry and bad

chin eng couldnt help it coz he's really depressed and demotivated

chin eng feels sad, moody, lonely, heartbroken

chin eng is physically hurt too

chin eng almost give up

chin eng wants to put behind the past and move forward

chin eng needs time and support to bounce back

chin eng knows he doesnt't has much time because he has wasted a lot of time and chances

chin eng hopes his friends can still accept him while he's struggling to get back on his feets

CHIN ENG WANTS TO BE CHIN ENG AGAIN!!

H1N1: UiTM Students’ Lives at Stake

H1N1: UiTM Students’ Lives at Stake

I would like to share a news that really shocked me to death. I have friends studying in UiTM Lendu, Melaka, the university that was hit by H1N1 last Sunday. I’ve been following closely on this issue as my friends are in danger and I’m also an university student. As I expected, more students are tested positive for H1N1. The situation is not under control anymore and it’s at critical stage. From 4 cases on 11th July, it increased to 6 cases on 15th July and 9 cases today. The nine UiTM students were part of the 10 new cases of the virus recorded today and all of them are local transmitted.

There are many things that are not make public by the university to the media. After the cases were reported in the media, MOH has sent their officers to assist the university medical team. The university’s clinic was packed with students to be screened. Students with serious complication were sent to hospitals while the rest who were affected were quarantine altogether in a room. These students who were being quarantine are allowed to skip classes. Ironically they are allowed to move around in the university and surprisingly without mask. So what’s the point of quarantine? The university has not taken any safety precaution. Some students were not aware of the situation because the university didn’t make any announcement. Plus, the students of UiTM are not provided with mask. Students have to spend their own money to buy masks from the nearby town at Alor Gajah. It’s the university’s responsibility to take care of their students safety and security. Students lived in fear and disgruntled by the move of the university and MOH for not closing the university.

Why after so many cases only MOH directed UiTM to be closed? Parents are worried of their child’s safety. University is a place to gain knowledge not to gain virus. The funny thing is primary schools were closed immediately when 2of its students were confirmed to have H1N1 but why not UiTM? It should had been closed after 4 students are down with the virus. What is there to wait for and what is UiTM trying to hide? Students are even intimidated and forbidden to take pictures of the scenario in the university, afraid that it might leak to the media. The students’ lives are now really at stake. Although today, 16th July, MOH has directed UiTM to be closed until 24th July and the students are allowed to go home, the action would be too late. At least 20 students are contracted with the virus and thousands of students has very high chances of getting it and possibly carrying the virus back to their hometown. I strongly believe that there will be more local transmitted cases coming up especially from UiTM students. Their family members, neighbours and friends will be affected.

All these mishandlings caught my attention to write to the press. I’m so disappointed with the way a well-known university handling the case which have big impact to the society. The public don’t know what is actually happening in the university. Are the university or MOH going to be responsible if the students are dead because of H1N1? This is just some parts of the stories that the public and media are unaware of. I hope that this situation won’t happened in other universities. If it does, please take preventive measures immediately and announce it to the students. I urge the students to quarantine themselves at home and hope they are fine.

16th July 2009

Oh Chin Eng

* i noe la its not that good. was rushing to send it to the press ma. its my first letter to the press ok. plus, English not that good ma. can la..

i am sorry

i am really sorry my friends. i am truely deeply seriously honestly humbly sorry.

sorry sangat2. sorry. maaf. betul i minta maaf dari dalam hati bukan takat mulut.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Omg! My friend really good in making stomach cramp. TWO THUMBS UP! Wana noe y? He said I said smtg wic I dun rmbr at all. Plus, he gave me all da details of what I said. Crazy! Walking archieve r! I dun rmbr a thing at all. Haha. read this..

happy month-sary : chin eng

nix : nixon lai chia huey



happy month-sary says (12:55 AM):
lanjiao
ooppss
sori
not me
sori
haik

nix says (12:55 AM):
wa

happy month-sary says (12:55 AM):
no no
silap2
sori2

nix says (12:55 AM):
u scold me lo
how dare u

happy month-sary says (12:56 AM):
no no
silap2
wana show u an emotion la

nix says (12:56 AM):
i dun care, i come to kampar sulah u

happy month-sary says (12:56 AM):
haha

nix says (12:56 AM):
sulah sampai lu nangis

nix says (12:57 AM):
wat ciao u wan
wa
u scold me lo
how dare u

nix says (12:58 AM):
i dun care, i come to kampar sulah u
sulah sampai lu nangis

happy month-sary says (12:58 AM):
wah
so ganas
learn frm sexter

nix says (12:59 AM):
ganas itu hobi
eh i got one philosophy
i ingat u kata before
u remember ah?

happy month-sary says (1:00 AM):
huh
u ingt wat i said hor?

nix says (1:00 AM):
X tak ganas, Y tak panas
replace the X Y with the genders

happy month-sary says (1:01 AM):
huh
dei
wat philosophy is dis

nix says (1:01 AM):
u catch it bo
u ajar me one

happy month-sary says (1:02 AM):
er,...
me r??
wait2
i dun rmbr la

nix says (1:02 AM):
rephrase the sentence
then write here for me
with the X Y

happy month-sary says (1:03 AM):
x tak ganas
y tak panas

nix says (1:04 AM):
replace the X and Y with jantina la

happy month-sary says (1:04 AM):
oo
male x ganas
female x panas
a
zzzzz
i din say dat
not me
sexter

nix says (1:04 AM):
u laaaaaaaaaaaa bro
2 tahun lalu u ajar me, masa makan lor mee @ penang road 3.15pm

happy month-sary says (1:05 AM):
wah

nix says (1:05 AM):
masa tu u pakai baju putih

happy month-sary says (1:05 AM):
dei
dun merepek

nix says (1:05 AM):
with cs, kaho and neh

happy month-sary says (1:05 AM):
pg road whr got lor mee

nix says (1:05 AM):
got

happy month-sary says (1:05 AM):
haha
3.15pm sumor

nix says (1:05 AM):
u pom pek la

happy month-sary says (1:05 AM):
tel me more
dun merepek

nix says (1:05 AM):
its 15th March 2007

happy month-sary says (1:05 AM):
walaeuh
u dun simply say
how sure r u

nix says (1:05 AM):
betul

nix says (1:06 AM):
i ingat secukup cukup
how sure? very sure laaaaaa

happy month-sary says (1:06 AM):
huh
lor mee at whr??
y i said dat

nix says (1:06 AM):
how i know

nix says (1:07 AM):
u siao one apa pun boleh cakap ma
i ingat for u
u tak ingat
sad la

happy month-sary says (1:07 AM):
haha
omg
u r so farking funny
dun make me laugh

nix says (1:07 AM):
masa tu wa habis class at college then ajak u guys makan u all kata ok then things happened already

happy month-sary says (1:07 AM):
lu kanashit
haha

happy month-sary says (1:08 AM):
wah
whr?

nix says (1:08 AM):
penang road la!

happy month-sary says (1:08 AM):
wic part!

nix says (1:08 AM):
things happened refer to u kata itu philoshophy la
tempat jual chendol la itu kopitiam puto
kaneh i am taking this very seriously, me no joking

happy month-sary says (1:09 AM):
hahhaa
kaneh lu
chendol thr no lor mee la
hahah
dei
i kenot stop laughing

nix says (1:09 AM):
kaneh lu

happy month-sary says (1:09 AM):
hahah
arrghh

nix says (1:09 AM):
walao laugh me sumore

happy month-sary says (1:09 AM):
sakit perut

nix says (1:09 AM):
puto hang

happy month-sary says (1:09 AM):
u serious loo
hahaha
lu banana
tel properly la dei
pg road whr

nix says (1:09 AM):
kaneh u dun laugh nanti ur housemate ingat u gila

nix says (1:10 AM):
chendol la!!!!!!!!!!

happy month-sary says (1:10 AM):
we nvr go thr la

nix says (1:10 AM):
dekat itu jual laksa la puto

happy month-sary says (1:10 AM):
he oso laugh la!!

nix says (1:10 AM):
zzzz ur memory damn suck la

happy month-sary says (1:10 AM):
itu popular mia cendol r
i noe thr got cendol

nix says (1:10 AM):
abo mana

happy month-sary says (1:10 AM):
bt no lor mee la
u siao liao hor?

nix says (1:10 AM):
oppositeo ne la
kaneh

happy month-sary says (1:10 AM):
opposite???
huh!!

nix says (1:10 AM):
u siao 1st i also not yet siao

happy month-sary says (1:11 AM):
got pic r

nix says (1:11 AM):
in front*

happy month-sary says (1:11 AM):
or resit r
corner kopitiam r

nix says (1:11 AM):
dey masa tu u tak da ur slr
in front can park motor one la
kopitiam need receipt one meh kaneh i din heard before

happy month-sary says (1:11 AM):
haha

happy month-sary says (1:12 AM):
proof ma

nix says (1:12 AM):
i still remember u call that aunty a nme
name

happy month-sary says (1:12 AM):
wah

nix says (1:12 AM):
u called her tuang sai ah yee

happy month-sary says (1:12 AM):
joke of the day la

happy month-sary says (1:12 AM):
tuang sai??
lu ciak sai la

nix says (1:13 AM):
cos u kata her face like shit
so u bagi her
how i know

happy month-sary says (1:13 AM):
haha

nix says (1:13 AM):
lu mia mulut ma haha

happy month-sary says (1:13 AM):
walaueh

nix says (1:13 AM):
walao apa

happy month-sary says (1:13 AM):
lai video la

nix says (1:14 AM):
offlights d la
bro sleeping man

happy month-sary says (1:14 AM):
so wat

nix says (1:14 AM):
cannot see me la

happy month-sary says (1:14 AM):
dun wana see ur kha chui oso

nix says (1:14 AM):
gelap gelap tengok apa

happy month-sary says (1:14 AM):
wei

happy month-sary says (1:15 AM):
serious la
i duno da whole ting u r saying

nix says (1:15 AM):
the problem now is that
what i just said is all FACTS
and u duno, cos u dun remember
conclusion lo

happy month-sary says (1:16 AM):
hmmm

nix says (1:16 AM):
dun think too much, assume u dun remember
and assume now i remind u and u absorb back that thing

happy month-sary says (1:17 AM):
i absorb nth

nix says (1:17 AM):
koyak

happy month-sary says (1:17 AM):
ouch

nix says (1:18 AM):
ehhh u remember bo
that time laaaa
penang road la dudeeeeeeee
jual chendol one la

happy month-sary says (1:18 AM):
hmmm
nola...

nix says (1:18 AM):
eh u remember or not one, that time ma at penang road

happy month-sary says (1:19 AM):
no
cz pg road no lor mee!!

nix says (1:20 AM):
*eh u remember or not one, that time ma at penang road????????

happy month-sary says (1:20 AM):
zzzxz
pg road no lor mee

nix says (1:20 AM):
got la
u balik u pi tengok

happy month-sary says (1:20 AM):
hmmm
cendol eh kopitiam no lor mee!!

nix says (1:21 AM):
got laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

nix says (1:22 AM):
mari bet, if ada u gimme 10 bucks, if tak da assume nth happen ok?

happy month-sary says (1:23 AM):
hmmm
dei i dun rmbr wor
okok
we go thr eat r?

nix says (1:24 AM):
eat before la

happy month-sary says (1:25 AM):
ooo

nix says (1:26 AM):
so, try to remember and recall

nix says (1:27 AM):
this is the best i can did, no need to appreciate
is my job, so far, farewell
my pleasure, my lord

happy month-sary says (1:28 AM):
wahhh

nix says (1:28 AM):
wah sai la wa

happy month-sary says (1:29 AM):
hahahahhhaha

nix says (1:29 AM):
kaneh u siao ah keep laugh

IT"S TOO LATE

We tend to miss someone only when they are not around. Not only miss but love..

but hei! What for?? It’s too late!! U cry u beg u bang your head to the wall oso no use when the ppl r gone. GONE far far away. And they will nvr come back!

When that person is in front of u, u buat tak tau. Buat DERK! Jual mahal! Jual ni! Jual tu! Ppl nice to u bt u buat shit to them. Ppl LOVE u bt u scold them.

Come on HUMAN! What u 1??!! SHIT la.

Give n Take la. Show some APPRECIATION, RESPECT n LOVE.

LIFE is too FRAGILE n SHORT.

12th just passed

hie.. jz wana be crapy tonite. 12th jz passed. yea jz passed.

so fast kan. time pass so fast. so fast 1 month already. aih..

gain weight gain muscles in 30 DAYS

nyeh nyeh nyeh.

im going to gym tomorrow. wahahah! i wana be BIG! i wana be FIT! i want to gain WEIGHT! i want to gain MUSCLES! kakakaka...

im so excited. cant wait for tmr. imy friend from SXI is gona help me to achieve my mission. he actually asked me to take off my shirt. body check kononnya. haha.

i used to work out. yea i used to 6months ago b4 i enter UTAR. i stopped cz i was lazy. eh.. u nid smtg to boost u up ok. if not u'll easily give up. mental kena strong. body kena fit! makan kena a lot! everything oso must double!

i duno what or who boost me n give me power to work out again dis time. i jz wana do it. i eat a lot bt still dat 'slim'. a lot of gals jealous. so wat to do. i must gain weight lo. then can become handsome ma. =p macho sikit la.. plus, she always ask me go work out bt i never do so.

i bought gain weight protein bt i also stopped taking it 6months ago. it taste yucks n its nt cheap!

ok, below are my plans of action:

1. Sit up n push up weight lifting for 30 times at least twice a day
2. Jog at least once a wik
3. Work out at least twice a wik 2hours per session
4. drink Susu every morn
5. drink weight gain every evening
6. eat more n more than usual

waahahahahha! 30 DAYS TO TRANSFORM~

rindu

hmmm... i mis her. i miss her. rindu. rindu. please someone tel her. someone please tel her. aih..

malam-malam maciam ni i'll tink of her especially when im listening to soft slow romantic love songs. yeah.. i cant stop myself from thinking of her.

yea UTAr has tonnes of gals. so what?!!! its not my prob. good la. their parents happy la gave birth to such lovely daughters. so what??

ppl bodoh ma loves n loyal to a girl only..

okla. tido tido. pi tido semua.

120806

Today is 12th of June 2009. In less than few minutes, we’ll step into a new day theorically. But practically, for me, I don’t think so as long as I’m still awake. Those who know me well, they will know why this day is so special and important for me. 12th is special but not the month of June.

2 years 8 months 16 hours ago at 7.35am 12th August 2006, we got into a relationship. Not as brother or sister or friends but as a girlfriend and boyfriend. Today, the date of 12th just remains a history, a page of our life that will never be repeated again. The journey has come to an end a month ago. Many of my close friends don’t even know a bout it. I’m sorry for not letting it out. Yea, we break up. I believe that many people will get shocked. Terkejut mati! Haha! They know very well how loving, how sweet and how cute we used to be. I’m proud to say that!

It’s never a good thing to be separated from the one u love. If we were still together, we’ll celebrate our 3 years anniversary this 12th August but haha! It’s not gona happened la! balik tidur and mimpi la.

wait and see

kaakakah! i remembered my password. here i am once in a blue moon.

something will be posted up b4 12am tonight. wait n see. =p

tata.

thoughts of the night

hi! long time no see.. hie..

it's so quiet tonight 5th may 2009. yea its over 12am d bt its still 5th because i havent sleep yet.

i can't sleep. im not sleepy. im bored. i feel so lonely tonight. i feel so empty.

im not happy. i don't know why...

being here in UTAR, Kampar for 4months, i feel tonight is one of the most lonely night i've ever had.

i feel like im alone in this world. where is everyone. where is the one i loved and the one who loves me? i need someone to talk to.. someone to lend me his/her shoulder.. someone to hug with..

i miss my friends. i miss my family. i miss my gf. i miss my teachers. i miss my enemies. i miss the moments when everyone's eyes were on me. i miss the feeling on stage. i miss being number 1. i miss the pride and the priceless praises from people i know n i don't know due to of my achivements. i miss penang's smell. i miss my mum's cooking.

u noe wat.. i hate myself. im regret of the tings i did and i didn't do.

how i wish i can turn the clock around and be given a chance to fix things.

i am OH CHIN ENG. i am who i am. u noe me. this is me. me is me.

me myself sometimes is likeable and sometimes is annoying too. im just like you, my friend, a human being. i have many weaknesses. i make ppl hapi. i make ppl sad.i am sad. sad for unknown reasons. perhaps there are too many reasons that i dun even notice one.yea i am emotional. yes yes.. i noe. yea and sensitive too. what the hell rite?? okla n also obsessive. come on! what else?? procastinate! u r damn right. what?? bossy?? ok two thumbs up! chin eng is an idealist but he's realistic too.

i always think. i think too much. i think most of the time. my mind just cant stop thinking. i think even when im sleeping, when im peeing, when im having exam, when im eating. im thinking right now.. im thinking.. thinking what should i do next, what must i say next, what will happened if... what if.. what. what. what. la la la.

im tired of my life. serious! I AM TIRED!! i wana run away from all this. i wana be isolated far far away from the place im familiar with, from the faces i've seen.

i wana LEAVE malaysia. i wana go explore other countries. i wana meet new ppl.

i wana be BIG in size! i wana be handsome. i 1 2 be loved as much as i love the person i love. i wana say i love u n tq to my mum my dad my bro n my sis. i wana go backpacking to india, china, cambodia, indonesia. i wana go to mekah. i wana go jungle trekking at hutan belum. i wana hike mount kinabalu. i wana have good command in english. i wana compete in Amazing Race. i wana do bungee-jumping. i wana have my own photography exhibition by the age of 21! i wana get into Dean's List. i wana live with orang asli. i 1 2 protect and preserve the jungles, the forests, the greens, the old houses, the cultures, the beliefs, the religions festivals the watsoeva. i wana get married and have babies. i wana learn swimming. i wana work for AP, AFP, National Geography. i wana act in TV, i wana be on newspaper, i wana sing in a concert. i wana publish a book on my thoughts. i wana be a lawyer, an anthropologist, a historian, a politician, an activist, a reporter, and a pilot. i wana be a great debater, a great speaker. i wana donate my organs after i die.

i wana do dis. i wana do dat. i 1 2 have SUSHI now!!

arrghh! i need a rest. a long rest. a long break. i wish i won't wake up in the next morning. i wish for once i can feel the moment.

dahla! cukuplah untuk malam ini. nak blah dah.

good night my friends. see you again. love you. muax. tata.

kampar 6/5/2009 3.30am

FLU and EP

arrghh!! i just woke up 10mins ago. what's da time now??

4.40am!! my friend still doing our EP presentation! kamsiah siang yong! sorry la kenot help you do the slides. U noe y. im super sick. I got flu since last night. N it got worse this morn until i tak larat to go to school. i've done the write up b4 i slept at 3am jz now. It's a group work la bt another group member didn't come. aih.. suakla. anyway...

I HATE FLU!!

SOME TIPS 2 recover from fllu:
1. BLANKET urself fully from head to toe
2. SWITCH OFF all ur FANS or any electrical equipments that produce wind
3. CLOSE the windows
4. SWEAT or PELUHKAN urself
5. of cos kena TAKE MEDICINE la

anyway, siang yong, U did a great job. the slides are reali nice n PRO. Macam some big company's presentation. Haha. thx again ya! u reali good in computer stuffs.

ok...time to sleep again. sign out 4now. gnite. tata.

yang pergi takkan kembali

i found 1 touching story from my classmate's blog http://suang181.blogspot.com

the story is so sad.. u read n u comment la.

By the way,I have a short story to share which Saravani told me:
A man was polishing his new car while his 4-year-old child came by. She picked up a stone and scratched on the side of the car. In anger, the man hit his daughter's hand many times,he didn't realise he was using a wrench..
The child was sent to hospital then and lost all her finger. When she saw her father with the sorrow eyes, she asked her father: " Father, when will my finger grow back?"
The father was so hurt, he went back to his car and kicked it. He was thinking that he might not hit his daughter if the car isn't exist...
Suddenly he saw the line that his daughter scratched was written: Love You father
He was so shocked. The man was found commited suicide the next day...
Always see first and think twice before doing something...
You will find that you would never regret if doing this..
Do appreciate everything, everyone around us..

i sakit, ill, phua pneh, gering n sick today

ya ya ya! its me, OCE or CEO or "Oh, Chin Eng!!"

yea i kembali memblog. what's with this broken BM.

anyway im sure my frens gona got shocked and laughed till they drop into the drainnto find out that finally i post smtg on my blog.

sorry la b4 dis i was lazy.. i have a lot to say bt when it comes to writing it down, i tak larat. hopefully i can blog at least once a day.

hmmm.. anyway, today is not a good day.

WHY? WHY!!

cuz i suck-it! i mean SAKIT la!

aih.. i have EP Tutorial class at 9.30-11.30am. but i woke up at 10am. fine! den i rushed la to get ready bt suddenly my stomach was superman painful. and...i lausai! diarrhea. Quite a lot! Dark chocolate color u noe! Watery some more. cirit until backside oso pain.

So kenot go to sch lo. aih... den i terslept coz i was sooo strenghless. i woke up around 12pm. i planned to attend the next class wic is EP Lecture from 1-3pm. so i went to third floor to use the toilet. haha! but u noe wat?? b4 i enter the toilet, i kissed the mattress 1st. And...i terslept again. hahahha! i tel u..the pain was so so so teruk ok! i cant barely move.

i think i woke up at 1 something. so i bathed lo. i went back to my room at 2pm. i was like ok.. i missed two classes d. i still have one last class to attend, JR Tutorial from 3.30-5pm. i reali wana go cuz it's Miss Joethi! I don't want her to have bad perception on me. But my body was just too weak. i felt dizzy n muntah-muntah. i reali tak larat. dis is da worse cirit i've ever encountered. dahla cirit, tak larat pula tu, some more pening-pening lalat hitam and rasa loya. grrhhh... Sadly i missed 3classes today. No attendance lo!

me blogging??

haloooooooooooooooooooooooooo???

testing testing 1 2 3!!

wahahaha!!!

chin eng restarting his blog.

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WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY: from my SAYANG

She remembers my bday
Bday wish from her
Her home made spagetty
Her love
Her hug
Surprise from her
I wana see her
Spend time with her

WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY: from my FRIENDS

They remember my bday
Bday kad
Wish me
Sport shoe
Digi reload
Flash light for camera
books
dinner treat
ang pau
nutri lite weight gain
wish n notice frm family
voice recorder
vcd of sepi n cinta
raneesha's chocolate cornflakes

19th october

dengan segala hormatnya, diumumkan, tarikh perayaan hari jadi Encik Oh Chin Eng jatuh pada 19hari bulan october pada hari Ahad ini. semoga beliau panjang umur.

it's soooooooooooo BIG!

can someone please teach me how to reduce the size of my pic?? it's scary!!

I AM BACK

huhuhu. arloooooooooooooooooooooooo....... nah here i am with the new post. i found my password finally! haha! i'll post more stuffs.

Vel Vel

thaipusam will falls on wednesday, 23 january 2008.

it's tomorrow! haha! im going to take kavadi and milk pot again for the third time.

so one of the things the kavadi or milk pot carrier has to do is to pray to the Lord Murugan today when is chariot is out from Little India to Waterfall Hilltop Temple.

it's not a nice feeling thinking of the real day because i'll be pierce through my cheek and forehead. i feel so scared when i think of the skewl going through my flesh. i'l stil do it because i want to do it and i've committed myself to do it. cannot turn back already. haha!

anyway, if anyone of you want to feel the atmosphere of thaipusam, you can always go to Waterfall. there will be a lot of devotees and public taking their off day to jalan-jalan.

if u want, u can oso follow me. im carrying the kavadi and milk pot from Sri Maha MAriamman Temple at Queen Street, Little India to Waterfall Hilltop temple. the rituals will be carried out before 7.30am. so come early if u don't wana miss out the moment when im pierce.

so hope to see u all there. sms or call me for any inquiries. 0164369960.

harressed n threaten by 3policemen

Flixster - Share Movies

tq mr. policemen

DAMN u mr.policemen! but 1st of all i hav to say tq bcoz if not bcz of u guys, i wont b blogging again. terima kasih!! kamsiah!! setinggi-tinggi penghargaan to 3of u!! nandri!

n now, back to the real business! the purpose of this blog is not to say tq to you 3damn policemen! but i want to let the malaysians noe that how lousy, stupid n tak professional u ppl r!! read my story n watch the video then u all will understand!!

i was talking to my gf, faizah by the road side of Jalan Kampar near her house on 23dec 07 at around 3.25pm after dropping a jantan cat which was rescued by us after it fell down from a tree. suddenly a police car stop in front of us. 3policemen in uniform rushed out n kepung us. dey asked 4our ic. were shocked la bcoz we din do anyting wrong. we din touch each other or being suspicious. furthermore, we din hide in a dark place. she was standing on the road while i was sitting on my bike. the weather was damn hot. so, my gf asked y they want my ic bcoz how do we know they r the real policemen. nobody has the right to take ur identity card frm u!! we got our right to do so. the policemen said we r lawyer buruk n scolded us 4questioning dem.

a policeman asked me y im holding a camera. my answer was “saja ler, i like to take photos”. faizah added n said im a freelancer. as a result of that, one of dem threaten to catch her to frighten us. the damn policeman was misusing his power to shut up our mouth!! we were categorised as budak kecik n lawyer buruk-so we must obey their instructions buta-buta othou we know dat it is wrong!! Mana boleh a lady sit n follow 3policemen in a car to a police station?!! Wat if they do sumting bad on her in the car? This is against the law!! If a lady is caught n nid to b bring back 2the police station, thr must b at least 1 policewoman b in the car! I asked faizah 2run home n ask 4her mum's help. so at the end, i gave dem my ic. Dey checked my motor. Check every inche of my motor. My bakul they checked. The hole below my seat oso they checked. A small hole under the handle oso they want to check. Aih… faizah's mum said sorila macam we all yang salah. but we refused to do so. KAMI TAK BERSALAH!

the policemen claimed that we din respect dem! WTF??!! we din scold or being rude to dem oso!! they blahh off after dat!! Thanks to faizah’s mum. But pity faizah kena marah. After that, faizah saw the same policemen stopping an indon women somewhr near her house.. i duno wat the hell is wrong wif the 3policemen!! Pissed off betoi la!! Fuh… im glad I managed to curi-curi record the whole incident. Luckily I pndai cover n buat bodoh n press the button. I duno wats gona happen if the policemen want to c my camera. I din ask 4their ID. Ask for the reason y we hav to give dem our IC oni has caused so many tings. I dare not to imagine if we question more. I remember one of the policemen’s name-Rodzi. 3of dem are malays. This is wat we get after we helped a disabled man on a wheel car to cross the road n a cat which fell down frm a tree.

im stil WONDERING y the h**l they want to c our ic. n they nvr ask 4my driving license also. takde kerja lain ke? y suddenly wana stop the car n cari pasai? were we doing something bad?? gila!! pls la if u all r so free, p hapus rasuah, buat rondaan di cyber cafe, tlong jaga trafik, bagi saman kat kereta yang stop kat kotak kuning, jawab panggilan kecemasan dgn cepat, serbulah kedai-kedai vcd cetak rompak n serbu sarang pelacuran!! jangan duk bazir duit rakyat dan duduk dlm ofis je atau bwa kereta melelong sana sini n cri mangsa!

Ei polis, boleh balik la!! jangan bawa malu kat PDRM!! jgn bwa malu kat keluarga, bangsa, agama dan negara u!! ingat, suatu hari nanti u mesti kena belasah teruk2!! jangan duk claim urself jaga keamanan. pungkok ang jaga keamanan!! rakyat dah bersyukur kalau u tak kacau kita orang tanpa sebab. jangan duk pakai tag "saya ANTI RASUAH" tapi tangan duk buka luas2 tunggu habuan jatuh. if tak minta, org pun tak bagi!! balik ke akademi n blaja LAW dulu sebelum nak kuatkuasakan LAW. BENCI!!

The incident is true! It really happened! Watch the video to get a better picture of what actually happened! Im not lying!! Ini kisah benar! Help me to spread this video. Tq!

*sebagai balasan atas perbuatan sang polis, patutla rakyat pun fobia kat polis. Hehe.

NO TIME LIAO!!

wahahaha! i c pictures!! i c pictures!! finally im realised that i haven't click the 'PUBLISH POST' button, that's y the pictures nvr appear.

hahah! im nt dat bodoh after all. so hapi! but hor......da headline picture is SOOOO damn big. do u hav any idea how 2kecikkan??

anyway!! i am free!! free from the second last war. 2day is the last day of PERCUBAAN STPM SXI. i didn't really study 4it. yea...........im lazy.

But HEI at least im better then:

those who alwaz nt in the class,

those who never turn up 4the exam,

those who alwaz sleep in the class,

those who TIRU in the exam hall, n

those who kuailan n buat bising in da class.

*hei dun terasa if u r 1of dem. im nt shooting u. =p


i did study a bit la... da important chapters oni. I had my sejarah 1 2day. it was ok..... i did better den sejarah 2. i used 6papers ok?? SIX er...... dun play-play!! i wonder how many pages contain the right answers. arrrgghhh... the trial was reali hard la. Even the belajar gila-gila punya students oso agree with this ok!! wish u all da best!!

2let u noe, STPM students oni hav about 55days 2study.

n SPM students oni have about 50days 2do all ur revision.


aih......... studyla anda sebelum anda distudykan. It's wasted if u dun get gud results. Waste ur time, waste ur parents $$ n duno where 2hide ur face. So, wat r u waiting for?? go STUDY la!!

gud luck n all da best 4da SPM n STPM students. ush!! AIM 4it n push urself HARDER!!

why?? why!!

arrrrgghh!!! geram geram!! why!!! why kenot post pictures 1?? cacatnya!! eeeee............ my blog is nt colorful enough.

okok i admit im not celik IT. hahah!!

anyway 4u all punya information, my BIRTHDAY WISH LIST n BIRTHDAY PRESENTS INVITATION CARD is coming out. so u all be prepared la ya. =p

apa lu tengok-tengok?!! *&*(^%T^#$%^$%*