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Thursday 30 December 2010

time is getting less with family

holidays are gona ends soon, very soon.

3 weeks passed so fast.

I have another week to go before I go back to my uni. I supposed to have 4 weeks holidays until new semester starts on 17th but due to some commitments in university I have to be back 1 week earlier.

I already start to miss my state and my family especially my sister.

I still have many things haven's done and settled in Penang.

And guess what I’ll start working tomorrow, means no much time left for me to spend with my sister as her school going to reopen next Monday.

I don’t want her to always stay alone at home. She dislikes it. I hate it too. But what can I do. What can we do. Everyone needs to work to make ends meet.

So I plan to bring her for bowling now as I promised but my brother didn’t want to come. Aih.. why.. he has been very negative and not loving for the past few years.

I know he has trauma. I know he’s not happy. So do i. after all these bad growing up experiences with abusing environment, we know who’s lucky and who’s not. We used to feel that there’s not love in the family. And all the past has made him into what he is today. For me, I stay positive, I know I don’t have to shaped by the environment and the culture, I chose my own path and decide on my own. But it’s tough tough.

I believe one day my brother will open up his heart and care for the family.

as for now, when im still in Penang, i'll try to spend more time with my sister and my family.

Me and my brother didn't talk much as usual. But this will be my resolution for next year, to have a better relationship with him.

aduih...

I tell you hor..

Pangsai is such a tiring activity.

Aduih..

So tired now.

Bo lat liao.