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Showing posts with label i have decided. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i have decided. Show all posts

Monday, 26 July 2010

where got time see doctor

good morning..

it's time to pack and go back Kampar.

stomach feels better after i wake up.

last nite, KKY told me that we are not young anymore, we are aging, can fall sick easily. if we cure our illness faster, than we focus on our works.

true..

but people like me..

no time, see what doctor la, u tell me.

this is the attitude la.

people always work, work and work, money, money and money, then neglect their health.

when time to die only they regret.

aih..

but im not working to get $ now la.. my case is different. assignments, presentations, planning, SRC etc..

BUSY..

not an excuse but serious la.

n okla i personally lazy go see doctor. i just feel lazy la. some more have to wait for the doctor etc.

so i decided to go see doctor this semester break. i'll eat accordingly. i won't simply eat whatever i want and i'll take suppliment.

people please go see doctor if you are sick no matter how busy you are.

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

QUOTE of the day

Making decision is choosing the best out of the best choices that you have.

Monday, 24 May 2010

moves on

Finally..

I've made up my mind.

After floating no where in the air, single, alone and sad for 1 year 11 days and 18 hours..

im gona say bye bye to the past now..

at 6.35pm Monday 24/5/2010.

I determine and seriously serious in what i want to do.

I know i might change my mind. I know i might look back. I know i might reminisce. I know i might get emo again.

But.. Im taking my first step now.

My journey is still far away.

Why must i torture myself and ruin my life?

Im tired of walking with someone who's not there anymore.

The fight in this struggle is no longer meaningful.

It's not worth it anymore.

When you can't change the situation, you either take it or leave it.

I chose the second option.

You don't have to live in someone's shadow.

You own your own life.

And I have nothing to regret.

Because i had the most fastastically beautiful sweet loving love story before, at least for me.

Now..

Im moving on.

I am.

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

6.30pm

6.30pm. that’s the time im leaving Penang tomorrow. Life is so weird. At one point u can be so happy about something. Then suddenly u r pissed with it. Life is so unpredictable. Mood swings so fast like wind.

I came back to Penang, I was so happy n look forward for it. Well, I had fun n I enjoyed the first week in Penang. Then, this week, the second week, everything just changed. What’s going on. Now I want to leave this island ASAP! I dun wana be here, at least for a week. I need to be alone in Kampar, where no one that close to me talk to me. I dun wish to talk to anyone..

My mum has brought the bus ticket for me. if she buys it, means she paid for it la. if im the one who bought, I use my own $ lo. Anyway my bus departs at 6.30pm tmr from Butterworth. Im taking Transnasional again.

My mum bought it at 4.30pm today. she was rushing because she is working at 4.30pm. luckily she went to buy it before she went for work because the bus left 1 empty seat only. She called me n asked whether I want to take the bus or not because my seat is at the last one at the back. the next bus is on Friday morning. She asked me to take the Friday one. I made my decision n I took the Thurday 6.30pm bus.

I wana leave here ASAP! Suddenly this island becomes a nightmare for me. I’ll think of that person if im here. I need to cabut. I can’t study here. So many distractions.

Mum pesan not to forget to bring the bus ticket tmr. She asked me to kip it in my wallet.

So people bye bye lah. Thx.. thx for.. duno wat. See u in Kampar lah. I think I blog more when im in Kampar. =p

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Happy Birthday Ammi

im awake. i didn't really sleep. my body is tired but my mind is keep thinking..of many things. one thing about me is my mind is active when im trying to sleep. all kind of thoughts n memories will flash back in one shot. then i'll try to key in as many as possible in my handphone then transfer it to my laptop the next morning.

right now, it's raining so heavily since just now. my stomach is rumbling so hard. i was going to sleep again but then if i sleep, i won't wake up till the next morning.i'll wait until 9pm for the rain to stop. if it doesnt, sleep again. im super tired.

i have something important to do before i sleep.

i wana wish my mum Happy Birthday. today is her birthday, 10th Nov. she's 45 now. old d huh?

sorry i have to wish you here. i don't have the guts to call you. i tried but.. it's hard. all this while we never do that. it's just not our family's culture to say 'i love you' or 'happy birthday'. how i wish you or sister will come across my blog and read this post. i wanted to ask sis to wish you but i forgot to do so when she online just now.

im a bad son i know. i alwayz make u angry. hehe.. i seldom clean the house n i keep junks! i turn my rooms n another room into STOREROOM. =p i realised that i put my family at the second place in my heart. as in i'll do my other stuffs, think of other stuffs then only family.

you know.. i already planned to go back and celebrate it with you. really. i want to make your 45th birthday special when im 21. all this while me, bro n sis or dad never celebrate your birthday. i feel so bad you know. my friends will celebrate it with their mum or at least call to wish them but i don't. i never do that.

finally i feel i have grown up. i feel like i wana do something for you. tangible one. i wana show it instead of just praying for you n dad. i feel like i got the call from the God to repay you, to be nice to you and be a good son. i'm already 21-legal age. first time you celebrate my birthday, not to count the birthday parties when i was a little kid la.

anyway, in the end, im still here in Kampar. many things came up. i was so undecided whether to go back or to go down to Melaka. i have test on Thursday morning. i have a Journalism Gathering on Wednesday. i was so sick last Saturday. i wanted to clean my room n learn French. and i slept whole day last Sunday after not being able to make up my mind.

my sayang taught me a lot. seriously. she n her mum are very close, like sisters. they always go for shopping together. =p im impressed with the bond between them. they are so like friends. talk to each other without fear, shy or doubts. jokes around. she celebrates her mum n dad's birthday. she always call her mum n update her. the thing i like the most is, she'll say 'assalamualaikum' when she starts the conversation. =p

ammi, i want you to know that i love you. i know u never hear it from me, but i do love u. i need more time n more courage to say it. i'll be good k? i think i am. =p and im safe here, dun wori.

i'll always pray that you'll be healthy always, you'll be safe wherever you are, you'll have long live.

friends out there, please don't be like me la.. cherish the one you love especially your parents n siblings. think anout this: how many years do you have to sing birthday song to your mum? HUH?!! people get old and human dies.

grrrhh! don't care. i wana go back this week n i wana belanja her MAKAN! yes makan is my favourite activity.

Happy Birthday Ammi.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Decision. Photos. Controversial.

Few days before I was talking about whether to post up the photos of the 3 UTAR students drowned in the waterfall incident. I get feedback. Some say ok. Some say not ok. For me, as a photographer, as a journalist to be, as a witness to the searching and rescuing operation, as a normal human being, I really want to post of the photos. It’s my hardwork to get those photos.

Im a person who uphold the truth. But I also care about the sensitivity of this issue. I know for sure that some people will make a fuss about this. They will definitely condemn me. than, go n spread the news saying that cilaka photographer post up photos of dead people. There are also people who will talk about respect the dead.

So I have decided that im gona post up the photos of the incident but not the dead bodies photos. I have also decided that if any of the victims friends want the photos, I’ll give it to them. but until today I haven’t do it.

My friend, Tennee got the photos from me and she post it on her blog. guess what? People critisize her. I already know that people will bising, make noise, critic this and that, condemn you etc. I pity her. anyway she removed some of the photos already.

You people only make noise because some of you know the victims and most of you know about the news. I can guarantee you 100% that if you never come across this news, u wont even give a damn to google their news and click on our blogs and look at the photos. And if you see the photos, I bet you’ll click on it and you’ll view it. You are curious to know what happened. You are attracted to something that you never seen before.

Your eyes want to see those photos but when you see it, your mouth say we shouldn’t published it.

Oh grow up people. There’s this ‘busybody’ gene in you. Don’t wear a mask. Don’t be a pretender. Don’t be a kuih talam dua muka. mang kong lanciau ua.

Please don’t forget that these photos are in the newspapers too. Chinese newspapers especially published those gruesome and scary photos. Why don’t you make noise there instead of here? Is it because we are small little people that are easily to be bullied or you just don’t have the guts to show your tigress tooth to the big company?

This is a sharing to those who were not at the scene. We are just reporting and showing you what has happened like what the newspapers are doing. It’s just a documentation of a disaster. This is a NEWS! So many people were there snapping photos with their handphones. the photos are circulating all over the WORLD! so what are u gona do?

Blogs, social networking sites and photo sharing sites are the alternative ways to get news. Nowadays people don’t turn into mainstream newspaper anymore because of its bias coverage. People prefer on9 news because it’s free, fast, wide coverage of news and you can get news from different perspective and different sources.

Stop blaming the people who post up photos of any bad events. Blame the people who go to google and type:

1.       james khor dirty dreams
2.       dirty dream james khor
3.       dirty dreams by james khor
4.       dirty dream blog james khor
5.        james khor dirty dreams blog

yes there are people who typed that keyword in the search engine. Im not lying. I have prove for what I say. I can trace how what the keywords that people use and end up in my blog. these 3 students are gone. Why some people still wana find fault?!

We never expect that to happen. We never want that to happen. This is fate. If can, I also want to turn back the time and see them alive but I can’t. I saw the bodies, I saw their parents crying, I saw death!

Im sad and down too. I have a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, 2 grandpas, 2 grandmas, relatives and good friends waiting for me to graduate and back to Penang safely. I have a girl that I love. I feel how you feel. I don’t want to loose anyone that I know. I wish I’ll DIE first so that I won’t be sad and mourn for their death.

In journalism, there’s this aspect that we must uphold the truth and give the facts to the audience. But there is also an aspect called ethics.

So people I ask you since who am I to give my opinion on this. Do you think truth can goes a long with ehics? Do you think by telling the truths that might give disadvantages to some people is unethical? What can be published and what can’t be published?

What say you?

So stop blaming anyone. The photos are not meant to humiliate the victims. Some people talk about respect. Oh puh-les. When someone is alive, you don’t give a damn on them. You cheat on them. You humiliate them. You accuse them. You lie to them. You smear their good name. you defame them. You set them up. you insult them. You downgrade them. You disgrace them. You scold them with vulgar words. You say nasty stuffs about them.

Now they are gone and you talk about respect? Do you respect a living person? Do you really respect your father mother, your brother sister, your grandpa and grandma, your relatives, your bf n gf, your husband n wife, your buddies, your friends, your lecturers, your boss, the aunties n uncles who collect your daily rubbish, the waiters, the hawkers, the orphanage, the old people, the disabled, the beggars and anyone that came across in your life? DO YOU?!!

Tepuk dada jangan tanya selera, tanyalah keimanan diri.

Kalau nak kritik tu biar bertempat. Tengok kat diri dulu sebelum nak berkata. Jangan gajah depan mata TAK nampak, lalat seberang laut nampak.

Ok I don’t know why I say all this. I didn’t post up any photos also. No one has yet to say any bad things about my blog post of the incident. Im just fed up with some people and their thoughts.

If you terasa, itu bukan masalah saya.

*as usual, my blog 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 a year welcome your comments, suggestions, opinions, support, critiques, vulgar words and whatsoeveryouhaveinyourmind.
 *I’ll post what i want, i'll say what i wish. You don’t have any rights in the world to judge me. Leave the judging to those who really know who Oh Chin Eng is.