i found my CINTA

PHOTO of the day

tak paham bahasa. Malaysian's mentality. enforcement = zero!

ni sap pe dee ya

ni sap pe dee ya??

yes yes. i just sap-sap dinner n supper. n now i feel so fulled n sleepy. it's ok because it makes me happy!

oh i just love to eat. i live to eat! i din have my dinner. so i went out just now, alone, middle of the nite to look for food. i had Burger Special n lok-lok. the burger is rm2.50 with egg. standard price la. sedap n yummy. the burgerkid is friendly. we chit chat. then i sat on the malay restaurant's chair to eat but i didn't order any drinks. cool huh? learn from me. =p

i looked for egg/telur everywhere but all shops closed already. i went to 7-Eleven. they dun sell telurs. arrghh! i need telurs so badly la! i want telurs. i want to make toast tomorrow la. eee.. where are you telurs when i need you. i cannot use my own telurs la. mana boleh. can You drop few telurs from the sky for me? hehe..

on my way home, i saw the Lok-Lok stall is still open. i never like that stall. everything is just so expensive. i geram at them. but then.. oh god! my stomach couldn't resist the temptation of it. i stopped my bike! then i had 4sticks of my favourite food with a heavy heart. hmmm.. the sauce just ok ok la. not that nice. the cheapest stick is RM0.60! expensive! i can get rm0.50 per stick at Kampar pasar malam. in Penang i can get it for rm0.40 per stick! anyway i had 4sticks of lok-lok which costs me rm2.80.

not worth it.. my stomach satisfy but not my pocket.

Wahhhhhhhh I just relised that I have new habit. ‘Melepas’ on my blog. Melepas means to release. As in to spill out everything in my mind. =p

ok time to sleep. class at 8am later. it's gona be a very long n exhausting day. French class-2lectures n 2tutorias. 8am-5pm.

selamat tidur olang-olang.

Yi Ran Shi Peng You - Yu Heng

SONG of the day

Arrrghhh! It’s so sudden. As I was writing the previous blog post, I thought of this song and my tears just flow. GILA!

I love this song so damn much. It symbolizes… er… something. The song and the music really suit my feeling right now. So NGAM. Matching.

Oh.. tears just burst out terpancut macam paip listening to this song. Don’t listen la people. If you are like me, banjir later.

I love you Yu Heng. I have your CD!! You are one of the very few local chinese female singers in Malaysia.

ching ren jie de chian yi tian

ta li kai ni shen bian

zhi shen sia ni de je jing de shang mian

na yi yeh

wo pei je ni

ni ku le yi jeng yeh

ni shi fou chi tau

wo dui ta yi yang hen xiang nian

chi dao you yi tian

wo he ta pong mian

zai na jian

wo men chang qu de ka fei dian

zhai chi dau you xie kan shou

wo he ta shei dou bu chen shuo qu ko

wo men zhi jian ying chang le she me

chu le hou zhi ji mei ren dong

ke shi ni

ni je me shuo

ni zi tau hao shi bu shi chong ze bi kai wo ~oh~

wo yi yang nan guo

duo si wang wo men bu cheng xiang shi guo

na yi yeh

wo pei je ni

ni ku le yi jeng yeh

ni shi fou chi tau

wo dui ta yi yang hen xiang nian

chi dao you yi tian

wo he ta pong mian

zai na jian

wo men chang qu de ka fei dian

zhai chi dau you xie kan shou

wo he ta shei dou bu chen shuo qu ko

wo men zhi jian ying chang le she me

chu le hou zhi ji mei ren dong

ke shi ni

ni je me shuo

ni zi tau hao shi bu shi chong ze bi kai wo ~oh~

wo yi yang nan guo

duo si wang wo men bu cheng xiang shi guo

zhai chi dao you shieh kan shou

wo he ta shei dou bu cheng shuo qu ko

wo men dou shi

zui hao de peng you

sui hui you yong qi qu kai ko

bu zai hu

bu zai nan guo

wo men hai you hao da hao da de tian kong ~oh~

gu shi de zui hou
wo men dou bu cheng shi qu guo

shen me...

wo men yi ran shi peng you

i say.. crappy lovey story

move on je la.. dah orang tak nak kita. nak buat cam maner.. hati perit. makan sikit. nafas sakit. berak cirit. tidur tak bangkit.

kata orang, lepas. but it's not easy to do. kalau dia mai balik, kau yang punya. kalau la dia mai balik.. burung tak boleh tinggal dalam sangkar. someone told me, you love someone is to see that person happy. she has made her choice. i respect her decison. i DO! tapi.. life is so unpredictable.

hari ni jadi kawan.
esok jadi lawan.
so jangan kita kena sawan.
kalau tidak nanti naik awan.

so move on with your life la people. your another half dah mati. yeah dah mati. bila cinta mati, orang pun matila. jasad tu boleh simpan tapi hati tu bukan kau yang punya! PAHAM?!! life have changed. things will never ever be the same again. cinta datang tanpa diundang. cinta dipupuk penuh harapan. cinta pergi penuh kebencian.

ada olang mau move on u tau apa dia buat? delete Facebook. delete MSN. delete Friendster. delete handphone number. buang hadiah n presents. maki hamun. kutuk n fitnah orang tu. hmmm... patut kah. kalau dah break pun, u olang pernah bercouple kan. pernah ada good memories together kan. pernah sacrificed a lot kan. caya la sama gua. u buat semua tu pun that person will still lives in your heart. you can delete someone's name but she never dies in your heart.

now i believe in jodoh. kita yang merancang, Dia yang tentukan. move on doesnt mean u give up. it means.. wa tak tau. but never stop hoping. bila ada harapan, adalah impian. bila ada impian, adalah kejayaan.

when you found someone that you really love and you are so in love with her and you are so damn serious and committed, put her above everything in your life, really sacrifice your time energy and money, devoted yourself to that person, where that person meant so much for you, and you want to make that person the mother of your children, you want that person to be the first one you see when you go back from work, and you want your last breathe to end when you are on her lap; it takes days, months, years and sometimes even your lifetime to let go of that someone.

i made mistakes. you! yes YOU who are reading this right now also made a lot of mistakes kan? then?? go DIE ah? say sorry la. admit your mistakes. learn from your mistakes. forgive and forget. give people chance! treat others as you would like to be treated lah. nak bawa sekali kebencian you sampai you tua ka?!!

olang Cina ciakap: bila jalan mau ke depan. jangan tengok belakang.

tapi Oh Chin Eng cakap: bila jalan, kaki ke depan, kepala kadang-kadang toleh ke belakang. jangan dah ke depan lupa semua benda. learn from experience. appreciate the memories.

yes sorry to say i still love that someone now. so what?? but kenangan masa lalu biarkanlah berlalu.. bibit-bibit percintaan dan kenangan manis biarlah disimpan rapi dalam hati. everything u do, u'll think of her but don't let your past control your life. seteruk mana pun, u pernah mencintai dan dicintai. u pernah memiliki sebuh cinta yang sungguh indah sekali. cuma.. ia tak kekal abadi. TAPI! ia akan tetap diingati.

when you like/love someone/something, doesn't mean you must have it!

have courage man! fight for what you believe. dreams do come true when you believe.

Sun Tzu says if you know you are losing, RUN! this is strategy man!

i appreciate n i enjoy the day from 15/7/2006 till 13/10/2009.

ok goodnight love you muax tata.

PHOTO of the day

Only in Kampar. No wonder la our letters sometimes missing. The postman sesat. Never ever make sex in the middle of the road.

again and AGAIN!

Grrrhh! Geram ahhhhhhhhhhh!! I have to sweep the floor AGAIN! tangan-tangan orang yang tinggal kat level 3 dah CACAT ka??!! Arrghhh!! I came back from uni at around 7pm. N so OMG! My room is so damn dirty. Rubbish here n there. Bulu here and there. Not my bulu ok?!! How I noe?? I noe la!

Yesterday oni I swept the floor. Today so dirty again! Red ants are everywhere at the common area. Kanasai la! Now my room is sticky again. grrrhhh. Y must I always do the sweeping n mopping?!!

This afternoon I had a shitty day. I woke up at 2pm thinking that my class at 2pm. So I rushed la. I went out, the common area to get my bottle. Cilaka! The washing powder/serbuk pencuci all over the floor. WTF man!

I was so pissed off n I burst out la. I MELETUP! BOOM!. Yea boom! Dah la lambat, kena sapu pulak. Again I swept the floor. if once nevermind la. but im the one who always sweep the floor. N I said ‘kheong k*n’. I was so hot! Couldn’t hold it any longer.

Then my jamban! TOILET BOWL la! That day I just gosok only rite. Today, shits are everyday! Wat the FCUK man! That day I gosok sampai berkilat-kilat shining shining now u can see tompok-tompok cokelat! Arrrghh!

people out there, LISTEN here. whenver you want to SS (shit & shoot), aim properly. do it with gentleman, be a man lah!

I bukan nk say bad things about my housemates or roommates but tinggal sebumbung kalau help each other la. Jangan jaga kain sendiri je. Kalau u yang buat kotor or rosak, fix it la.

TULAN nia.

QUOTE of the day

When you tell yourself you want something, do it and be the best out of it. U have a choice. Do with commitment or Die with embarressment.

Nanti - Innuendo

SONG of the day

Let’s listen to this soothing and cheeky song together by Innuendo, the Malaysian group who sings Belaian Jiwa. A nice song to put u to sleep. It’s our favourite song. Miss the moment when I sing to her. =p waahaha.

I took years to find and download this song in mp3 format. hope you all will like it as well.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bintang bintang di kayangan
Lembut sang bayu
Tanpa bulan di awangan yang tinggi
Tanpa bayangmu
Andainya tiada ketukan kayu

Jika mimpi dihapuskan
Hancurlah lagu
Walau kita dipisah laut biru
Walau kau jauh
Lihatlah angkasa
Kan terubat rasa rindu...

*Chorus
Seindah malam ini
Lazimnya tiada tandingan
Sehingga kupandang wajahmu
Hilanglah perasaan hiba di hati ini
Terpadam rindu bila kau kembali
Bila kau kembali nanti

Jangan duduk sendirian
Jangan kau sayu
Kalau pungguk bersahutan
Kalau kau tahu kurindukan suara
Segeralah kepadaku

*Chorus

Sejenak malam itu
Kau buat ku bahagia
Semenjak malam itu
Hilanglah kisah kisah duka
Bila kau kembali
Bila kau kembali

* Chorus x2

Seindah malam ini
Ku akan menunggu mu
Bila engkau kembali nanti

Kehadiran dirimu suatu hari nanti
Bila kau kembali nanti...

Grade A1 Magee Goreng

ladies n gentleman. tuan-tuan dan puan-puan.

memperkenalkan Magee Goreng OCE yang sedap lazat sehingga menjilat jari. sila berikan tepukan yang gemuruh dan meletup kepada Chef Oh! yesh yesh!

bukan je sedap hingga menjilat jari tapi kuali dan senduk sekali. fulamak!

magee gorengnya berspring. telur habis. no problem. dia bubuh hotdog sama itu fishball. dipotong kecik-kecik but not too kecik!

Siang Yong, my roomate helped me in the cooking. i asked him to cincang garlic. so lawak. she basuh with water n cincang basah2. ayoo amma..

im happy. really. happy because my friends are happy. they happily finished all the mee. the satisfaction of a cook is to see the food he cooks make people happy. they like it. of cos la.. sedap ma.

i used to cook for someone i know. to be more precise, someone i love. the joy of cooking is when you pour your love into something you do, it will always turn out great and the taste of satisfaction is unimaginable. everytime you see that person's smile while munching on the food u made, it feels like heaven. segala kesedihan n problems hilang. feel so aman n bahagia..

i always belive that a good cook, cook with his heart.

waaa..

im not saying that im so marvellous. im just saying that whatever we do, if we put our heart in it, we'll do well, we'll really satisfied although sometimes the results are not that good.

i wana have LOK-LOK later. but now it's still raining. ohhh.. what a nice weather to sleep la. eat so much make me wana oink-oink. grrrhh!

Maternal Grandparents

Hehe. This is the wedding picture of my maternal grandparents. Cute huh. So nostalgic lah. they are so gona kill me if they find out i post this pic. =p

wednesday = delicious day

Today is Wednesday!! Rabu!!

Means It’s makan sedap day. It’s hochiak day. It’s a yummy day!

Wednesday is the best day for me in Kampar. It’s the only entertainment day here. Why?? Oh because Wednesday is the pasar malam or night market day.

It’s a never to be missed day living in Kampar. U get to eat a wide variety of good food at a low price. This is also the time where the town comes alive.

But it’s raining now la. Aiyah! Gone la my Wednesday!

Now im starving. Woke up at 9am ++ then I slept again till 1pm ++ n now I just woke up. When I dun have class, I wont go out to buy lunch.

I was thinking of making French Toast and magee gireng for brunch but now is tea time already.

*yawn*.

Okla dun care! wana go make French toast n magee goreng. Lapar gila. anyone wants some?? Sedap ok!!

Oh rain, please stop before 7.30pm. I need to go out and have my favourite Lok-Lok.

Thank you.

sem 3 first housekeeping

Done! Siap! Fuh.. sleepy la. I just finished berhousekeeping. My first housekeeping since I came back to Kampar on 22/10/2009.

I swept the my room and the common area.
I mopped the my room and the common area.
I washed my clothes.
I washed my bedsheets.
I cleaned my besen.
I gosok my jamban.
I hanged my clothes.

Everyone is sleeping and im cleaning my room. What the heck!

Kanasai spider webs everywhere. Aih.. so dirty! Geram oo.. Sometimes I feel so WHAT THE FUCK!! Yeala im not the only one staying on level 3 ok?? 7 people walking, 1 person sweeping. I sure meletup everytime I clean my room. Damn dirty! Sampah everywhere like no one stays in the house for months. Dah makan kalau, buang baik-baik la sampah. Aih..

Got leg jalan, takde hand sapu kah?? Hehe.. I copy this style of scolding from my mum. She used to say ‘ada lanciau kencing, takde tangan flush ke?!’

Back in pg I seldom help my mum. Yeala cakap mum memang betul. I ni buat rumah I macam hotel. I ni buat dia macam maid. Hmmm.. I bukannya sengaja. I noe how to do but im just lazy. See now I do everything by myself. I know how to use washing machine. =p I seldom help her to do house works. Teruk la I tau. I love her.

A person that I know also always help her mum. Im impressed n proud of her. although she cannot cook, but at leats she can clean the house, hang the clothes, teach her sister in her studies. She’s my inspiration la. she’ll be a good wife. =p

Anyway. Im so satisfied! Puas habis. Syok habis! Fulamak the satisfaction best tak terkira!! Now my room is so so so so so clean. Malam2 kemas rmh is so syok. Tak panas. Tak bising. Feel so free.

Wahaha!
Lantai ku bersih licin dan shining.
Baju ku harum dan segar merwangi.
Besen ku berkilat tapi takde petir.
Jamban ku putih bersih macam baru belum diberak.

Rajin kan anak dara ni? =p

Okla im sleepy d. im starving! wana oink-oink now. mission accomplished. Gnite. C u. tata.

N oh ya before i say chao, I nak say something. Baru je teringat.

“KALAU ORANG TU TAK SUKA KITA, BETAPA BANYAK DAN HEBAT DAN SWEET DAN SEMPOI U MAKE HER HAPPY, DIA TAK RASA APA-APA JUGA.”

~ popped out of my mind when I was cleaning the toilet. Suddenly teringat yang banyak benda I buat for her masa dia nk mai Kampar to do her assignment.

KAMPAR kena BOMB

yes yes yes!

I heard a loud explosion just a few minutes ago.

not bomb actually. but thunder. it's raining super heavily now. SUPER! reali lebat.

n now my level is out of electricity. i was on9 n suddenly 'POP'!

smtg got burn. the smell of plastic burning all over the place.

this is shitty!!

arrghh! i need to sleep lah. flu punya teruk!!

QUOTE of the day

“Do you know that politics is the art of making the possible impossible and making the impossible possible?”

~ Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek

*Thursday 22/10/09 after he was asked on his relationship with Ong and whether he and Ong could work together after so much bad blood at the MCA press conference to end the crisis between the two top guns of MCA.

going back to uni

YouthSays | YouthSays, Malaysia's Largest Youth Opinion Community

YouthSays YouthSays, Malaysia's Largest Youth Opinion Community

now i understand

QUOTE of the day

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

~ Alexander Graham Bell

lost and found

again.. im still awake at this time.

i did a lot of thinking and self reflection tonight.. a lot. flashed back a lot of stuffs especially the time with her. i read back what i wrote in my blog, my diary, my notes etc. i browsed through pics in my laptop. i recalled what i did, what i said.

finally i realised i made a lot of mistakes. i realised how bad i am. everything i did hit me back.

for the first time since 120806 i got freak out. i was so scared. i felt so cold. blood was pumping so fast. im gasping for air.

i've committed a lot of sins.

hard to swallow but that's the facts. im wrong.

i have a mixed feelings right now.

shocked. disappointed. sad. down. waken up. acceptance. glad. hapi. forget it. move on. reborn.

i feel empty as well.

i have so many things to say but it's glued under my throat. it just couldn't come out.

i've been so childish, immature, and playful.

arrrghh! hate myself for that. seriously. i expressed too much. sometimes im too emotional. yea im sensitive. over-react? not to forget im always late. i procastinate. im impulsive and so on.

i hold on to something too long. i should learn to let go. then move forward.

i reveal too much of my weaknesses. =p

i'm giving myself a chance to turn things around. i dun wana be a bad guy.. Chin Eng wants to be good and successful.

yes from this moment, oh chin eng wants to be OH CHIN ENG! i duno how. i really duno. i wish i wont repeat the same mistakes again. i wish i can think maturely. i wish i can carry myself better. i wish i can be a better person.

i want to be a good son.
i want to be a good brother.
i want to be a good grandson.
i want to be a good friend.
i want to be a good boyfriend.
i want to be a good student.
i want to be a good leader.
i want to be a good person.

well.. just hope and see.. changes need time.

i've been thinking why im always fail and stuck in my life. i think i have the answer tonight. i think so... it's my attitude.



ATTITUDE!

i used to be so aggresive and passionate in what i do. i used to aim high, far-sighted and be the best out of the best that i could.

let's take some action now rather than keep thinking what to do. im so determined and passionate right now. please keep on burning, Fire.

suddenly what Mister Andrew said came into my mind. our main priority now is our studies and be a good son. LOVE?? talk about that only after you secure a stable job la!

people wont really angry at you if you make mistake. people will only angry at you if you keep on repeating the same mistake and never learn from it!

im sorry again.. it's good if you get to read this. i have move on but that doesnt mean i must forget everything that has came into my life. i've learned from this fail relationship.

i got lost. now i found myself.

thank you.

chicken oh chicken

it's 4.35am now n im still awake.

i've been like this, awake at night and sleep at day time. my mum always scold me for being upside down. haha.

suddenly im craving for fried chicken from Line Clear. damn la. i miss their fried chicken. so huge. so berisi. so krispy. so yummy.

feel like going out now to have late nite supper. yea alone. ok what.. i'll do anything to get good food anytime anywhere. =p

hmm.. no no i don't think i wana go la. i wana spend more time in my house as i'll be going back to uni this thurs.

time flies so fast. people come people go. good things bad things. morning night. hi hi bye bye. wat the tut im talking about!

QUOTE of the day

"Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character for it will become your DESTINY."

~ Melinder Kaur

PERIBAHASA of the day

Kerana setitik nila rosak susu sebelanga.

Kerana satu kebencian hilang 3-4 orang kawan.

happy birthday oh chin eng

ho ho ho!

i am 21!!

happy birthday OH CHIN ENG!

selamat hari jadi!

nyeh nyeh nyeh.

may all my wishes come true lah! yesh!

thank you.

terima kasih.

nadri vanakem.

kamsiah.

QUOTE of the day

"There's no such thing as missed opportunities - life is full of possibilities."

~ Damina Manta Khaira

esplanade in action - mime and physical

Date: 17th Oct 2009
Time: 8pm to 10pm
Location: Esplanade
Organizer: Penang State Tourism Development & Culture and Penang Players
Contact: Joelle (012 5512616), Eric (012 4653893)

Come and join us for a fun evening out and discover the artist in you as you can be part of the show, all without saying a word!
Discover elements like mime, movement, contact improvisation, space experimentation, props & dynamics experimentation, various levels of focusing and more in our presentation. Physical theatre is a language everyone understands!

ULRICH GOTTLIEB, based in Vienna and Bangkok, started out in street theatre before training in mime and physical theatre from Werner Mueller and Hiro Uchiyama in Germany. His performance experiences include the Bavarian State Theatre (Munich), International Street Art Theatre (Austria), World Buskers’ Festival (New Zealand), Actors’ Studio (Malaysia) and the International Dance Festival (Thailand). His physical theatre work is characterized as a fusion of mime, dance, improvisation, public participation and multi-media.
Audience participation welcomed!

Happy Deepavali

it's 17/10/09 today. It's Deepavali.

Happy Deepavali everyone especially to the Hindus.

Happy Deepavali my friends, teachers, lecturers, neighbours, enemies and those that know me. =p

let's all of us celebrate this festival of lights with understanding, respect and love towards each other.

im happy that im lucky to be in Penang this year to celebrate Deepavali. i love everything here in my home, the lovely island.

how lucky we are to be in Malaysia, being able to celebrate different festivals together. speak their language. eat their delicacies. wear their costumes.

wa suka!

but somehow i don't know why i feel Deepavali this year is not so umpph. i don't feel the merriness. i don't feel as excited as i used to be.

is it because of the lack of Deepavali advertisements on TV? is it because i've grown up n not a kid anymore? or is it because many of my friends are not in Penang?

i miss my Indian Hindu friends from secondary school. I miss Arnend Kumar, Murukesh, Kumahresh, Tatsyaini, Marleni, Nagha.

i miss my teachers. Puan Deva, Cikgu Thamiz, Cikgu Mahthavi, Mr Anthony, Mr Baskaran, Cikgu Chellaiah, Cikgu Hema Maleni, Mister Rajagopal.


i also want to take this opportunities to say sorry to my Hindu friends if i ever offended you. sorry.


to my friends and neighbours, watch out because im going to your house. wahaha.

have a pleasent festive holiday everyone.

Happy Deepavali.

Nandri Vanakem.

QUOTE of the day

"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete."

~ Keith Sweat

awek gives me her number!!

oh my gosh!! can you believe it??

i got awek's number middle of the nite!

i din even ask ok.

wakaka! this is so damn fun and syokk!!

woooohoooo! hapinya aku!!

no no Eng-ENg din flirt.

not yet la. wait la after this only he flirts.

he misses the feeling of flirt-flirt. hehe.

it has been so so so soooooo soooooooooooo sooooooooooooooooooooo soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, even years since he approached girls.

it's even longer since he tried to get a number from girls.

he's not gatai la. u noe.. frens la. u know someone then of course you want to get their contacts, you want to know thme better, to know each other.

anyway thx to the awek!! wakaka. you know who you are. =p

* okla2 i acknowledge u la, Puteri. yea her name is princess. nyeh nyeh nyeh.

3 more days to Oct 19th

My 21st birthday is coming soon. 3 more days and I’ll turn 21. Wow! What a journey of life. I’ve grown up to be an adult.

Bad things happened recently. It really pull me down.

I never celebrate my birthday. I never organise birthday party. But thanks to my friends. They celebrate my birthday since I were in secondary school. Thank you my friends.

People mostly Chinese will celebrate their 21st birthday. 21st birthday is like something special. It’s like you are already free. U got the key to freedom. U have become man. Something like that.

As usual, im not gona celebrate my birthday this year. I don’t know how. I don’t feel like too. Hmmm..

When I was younger, I always hope for something from my friends. I feel it’s normal right u wish that people will give you present. Im a human too like you. I have wishes. I have hopes.

Before this seriously honestly I wish I’ll get something from people but now not anymore.

I’ve changed my mind. really. I don’t expect and I don’t wish for anything anymore.

There are only 2things I want.

First one is a letter. It’s not really a letter but a write up or comment or feelings about me. write me something. How you feel about me from day one you know me till today. Just be honest. Write what you think. I’ll accept it whether it’s positive or negative. Don’t write too short la. =p send it to my email. Or post it as a note on Facebook. Or post it on your blog.

I like to know how and what people see in me. I feel it’s a good way to evaluate and improve myself. I would love to read it when I get old one day.

And the second thing is..

~ L O V E ~

Yea I want love. And I need love. Not from a girlfriend. But friends and family. That’s all I need. I need people to understand me, support me.

I know im not some really good guy. I make mistakes.

Please forgive me.

I have too many wishes for my birthday.

I wish she’s safe, healthy, happy and success in her life. I’ll always pray for her.

I wish there’ll be no war please.

I wish there’s be less disaster.

I wish there’ll be no hardcore poverty in this world and everyone is economically equal.

I wish there’s be no diseases and influenzas spreading all over the world.

And I wish my family members are alwaz safe and healthy.

ear pain

Arrghh! Sakit gila my right ear! Damn painful! Suddenly it is pain again after for so long. whole night sakit!

Grrhh! the whole ear till the gegendang/cochlea is painful. It’s just so painful deep inside my ear.
My ear is clean la. I clean it everyday. Hmm.. I can’t even move my jaw. It’ll be more painful. The pain is like a punch on ur stomach.

Please go away PAIN. Kacau la!

Puasa 6

good morning. i haven's sleep yet la. cannot sleep and don't feel like sleeping. i'm ok. i'm fine. i feel better after i watched TV especially Man of Honor on AXN. hehe.

anyway im so glad that i learn something new today. Woohoo! To be specific, midnight. Have anyone of you heard of Puasa 6? Yes? No? if you are a Muslim then you know la. I only that Muslims puasa or fast during Ramadan and in Syawal to replace back the days that the missed out during Ramadan. But now only I know what is Puasa 6.

I must thank Fariza. Tengah-tengah malam she taught me something about Islam. Tankiu so much. I didn’t know that she’s so religious. I mean.. im not saying that she’s a bad Muslim but she opens my heart to know more about Islam. She proves to me that a person’s physical and attire doesn’t reflect truly on their belief and faith towards their religion. Tankiu sis.

Ok so according to her, Puasa 6 ni ialah puasa sunat. Muslims do this fast in the month of Syawal after Ramadan. it is called Puasa 6 because they fast 6 days in Syawal and only 6 days. No more no less. I asked her one funny question. If they fast 7 days, it is called as Puasa 7 is it. Hahah! No such thing CHIN ENG!! Ada Puasa 6 je la..

Anyway, although they must fast 6 days for Puasa 6, doesn’t mean they must fast 6 days continuosly. They can fast then stop then fast again. as long as it is within the Syawal month.

According to her Muslims miss Puasa 6. Why? Haha! this is because pahalanya besar. Pahala means.. the deed? Er.. the repay la. ok im bad in translation. If you fo Puasa 6, u’ll get pahala as if u puasa for a year. But hey! This doesn’t mean Muslim don’t have to fast during Ramadan la..

Besides, Puasa 6 also has many reasons behind it la. I don’t know what is it yet. I tel you all la when I know k? =p

You know what? The last day of Syawal is on my birthday, 19th October 2009. Wahahah. Bagus bagus!

I guess quite a number of Muslims will do this Puasa 6. It’s so good what. Furthermore, some may missed few days of fasting during Ramadan due to many reasons.

Thank you akak Fariza. Thx. Selamat berpuasa to those who do Puasa 6. =p

1.32am I Dissappeared

first time after using Facebook for so long, i noticed someone deletes me from their friend's list. and this person is someone that is always close to me. wow! how cool is that huh?? haha.

1.35am 13/10/09 she told me she just on with a guy
1.32am 14/10/09 she posted a pic of her n her bf wif the title 'love you sayang'
1.48am 14/10/09 she deleted me from her FB

cool man. COOL!

i have predicted and expected this to happen. memang betul jangkaan gua.

u noe wat? trust me, after this her new 'sayang' will delete me from his bf. i know her bf before we broke up that's why i have his Facebook. if he doesnt delete me, it'll be so damn weird.

what? can still be friends? ohhh! BULLSHIT!! she said berkali-kali over and over again that i have nothing to do with her anymore and she wants me to get away from her life FOREVER!! understand English rite??

i need to talk to someone. so badly... my heart is aching so badly. im hurt so deeply. i wana cry. i wana scream.

why must u delete me??!! why? Perlukah u delete i?? perlukah? I ni takde nilai at all dah ke in ur heart? Bila cinta datang, dunia bagaikan fantasi. Segala-galanya indah dan manis. Tapi bila cinta dah pergi, dunia bertukar neraka. Yang ditelan hanyalah api keperitan. Segala memori jadi mimpi ngeri.

dun wori, i wont backstand any of you, Nur Faizah and Nabil. although im hurt, but i still have dignity and i respect both of you.

thank you. thank you so much. i'll remember my 21st birthday. this is the present from you. wow!

QUOTE of the day

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."

~ Natasha Khanum

QUOTE of the day

"You dont stop doing things because you get old, you get old because you stop doing things."

~ Rosamunde Pilcher

kata-kata hikmat

Bukan semua perkara dalam hidup ini ada peluang kedua.

QUOTE of the day

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out."

~ Roy Croft

QUOTE of the day

"If they dont mean what they say, they say what they dont mean."

~ YB Lim Guan Eng

QUOTE of the day

"Bila you give everything, when you give more, it means nothing to them, because they are used to it. Tapi susah kan. Kita give them lot of love because we want them to feel loved. But lain yang jadi. We make them not to hargai us."

~ Puteri Nor Natasha

THOUGHT of the day

We often ask ourselves ‘why am I different from others?’ why? Why others are better then us? Why are they so lucky? Why they get what they want and I can’t?

Now I have a new answer for this question.

‘Why do I have to be like others?’

We are special. I am special. You are special. Everyone is special. Humans are never the same. We live the way we want to be. We choose the path we want to go. We fight for what be believe.

Remember, you are who you are. Be proud of yourself!

Perpisahan - Anuar Zain

SONG of the day

it has been so long since i posted a song that i like. tonight let's listen to this song. a song from Cinta, one of the best local films ever made. the singer is Anuar Zain. the producer of Cinta is Khabir Bhatia.

close your eyes, listen carefully to the lyrics and feel what i feel tonight. it's a sad song. a nice sad song. a good song when you are sad.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ku mengerti perpisahan ini
Bukan kerana kau membenci
Tapi kasih yang pernah kuberi
Tiada lagi bersama

Seringkala aku terlihatkan mu
Impian nan indah
Bersulam bahagia

Ku harungi hari demi hari
Bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali
Tapi hati masih tak terima
Ditinggalkan sengsara

(Korus)
Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
Perasaan hati masih rindu
Kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
Tercari-cari bayanganmu
Tak sanggup aku kehilangan
Kehilanganmu

Kasih tercari-cari

Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
Masih tercari-cari bayanganmu
Tak sanggup aku kehilanganmu

It's CONFIRMED!!

My prediction comes true. again.. Out of ten, eight of my predictions came true. I don't like it sometimes because it hurts.

i just talked to her. Now it's not about how i feel or what i sense. she admitted it herself. she's liking someone. SHE LIKES HIM. i know that guy.

well.. what could i say or feel? jealous? angry? sad? disappointed? upset?

im nobody to feel all this. im nobody now. who am i to her to feel all this. i dun have any rights to stop her.

no wonder she alwaz din't reply my sms. she's there. she knows. she's aware. i called her n she didn't even pick up. she saw me on9, she won't talk to me. everything has changed so drastically. i feel so dumb somtimes.

i din tell anyone abt this. im a person who'll keep my probs myself. what i do when im down? i write. i document it. i expressed it in words.

IM NOT OK. i cried. n i wana cry again. i can't bear the pain. yes im a guy but im not strong.

FINE IM SENSITIVE, POYO, SENTIMENTAL, CHABO. so??!!

sorilah dis is me. when i feel some feeling, it is just too strong.

life is not about love. yes i agree. i din focus my love on her only. i do my other stuffs. in our life, we have a part called relationship n i fill her in that part. she's in that part. i found someone that is most qualified n suitable to occupy that place in my heart.

too bad when you love someone, doesnt mean someone like you!

when you care so much for someone, when you sacrifice so much for her, when you put her above everything, doesnt mean she'll do the same to you!

arghh! fuck! arrghh!

ahhh... what a start for my blog after so long missing from blogging.

='( i still love her..

QUOTE of the day

Humility is not denying the talents we have, but rather admitting the weaknesses we have.

~ Felicita Fedelis