At the time im writing this, 7.55pm, it’s drizzling out there. I just reached home. My heart is till pounding so hard. It feels like popping out from my ribs.
The reason is.. I just went to the clinic. If you still remember, I once said that some part of my body is itchy. Some part which is too sensitive. It started in mid-May when I came back Penang for my sememster break. At first, I thought the itchiness is normal. But then when I sweat, It becomes itchier. Then, slowly, it spreads around. The wound becomes bigger. My skin becomes red. I have to always scratch n scratch n scratch. GATAL ma. My skin is peeling off. It becomes so sensitive. Sometimes it bleeds. It’s so irritating because it’s so itchy when I sweat. It’s so uncomfortable.
I’m not sure what’s the cause of it. Allergy? Or something else? So finally after 6 MONTHS, I went to the clinic in Pulau Tikus. Clinic Ev*ng*l. Heard of it? There was no any patient there besides me. I brought my sister along. When I register, the nurse asked me what sickness. I said itchy. She asked where. I said my body. I felt so uncomfortable with her questions. Then she asked whole body is it. I said no, just some parts la. I’m not gona tell her where I feel itchy! Anyway the nurse is very friendly. She asked me a lot of question about myself. she said being a journalist is good. I said got pros n cons la. She asked me to study hard and be a obedient son.
Ok… after a long chat, the nurse asked me to go in. The doctor looks like a Singh but he has some weird name. I don’t know what is he. So this doctor, asked me many questions again. what I do. Where I study. What course. Where I stay. Bla bla bla. The irritating part is I have to repeat my answers at least thrice. He has hearing problem la! ayooo!
After the nurse left us, I told the doctor, my sickness is something very personal. Private. So I told him what happened. I explained the symptoms. It’s not easy ok. The sickness im having is unusual. Then he asked me to sit on the bed. He pulled the curtain and he asked the nurse to stay away. Fuh.. my heart was beating damn fast. I can’t tell you how afraid I was. I was so freak out and I was shivering. He asked me to show him. Yea show him!! So what to do. I have to la. I pulled up my shirt and I showed him…not all! I cover cover a bit. This is the very first time some stranger is seeing it. Grrrhhh!
I’ve lost my JANTANNESS!
He asked me when did it happened. I said since May. He kept asking me the same ques. So I changed my answer to ‘6 months already.’ He still asked me the same questions for many TIMES. His ears really got problem. Then he got shocked why now only I went to see him. Hmmm.. I was scared and shy. I thought it will cure by itself.
Guess what the doctor wana do to it. He said ‘INJECT, APPLY CREAM AND TAKE MEDICINE.’ I was like what??!!! INJECT?!! Not on my hand but my BUTTOCK!! Ouch!! No way. Im afraid of needle. PAINFUL la! I asked the doctor what is the cause of it. The doctor didn’t answer me. he just said that I must put the cream n take medicine. What the tut!! Just tell me la why it happened!
Then he said after the antibiotic injection, I must come back in five days to follow up. I told him im going back to university tomoroow morning. He didn’t get what I said. He called his 2 nurses. I don’t know why. So I quickly told them that I can’t come back for follow up. the doctor said I must come back, at least let him know when.
So I went out to check when I can come back to Penang again. I’ll be very busy after I go back to Kampar. I have to submit my assignments next week then I have public competition the week after. The earliest I can come back is after three weeks. The nice nurse came out and she showed the ‘$’ sign, asking I don’t have money is it. I said no. I have RM50 with me.
After some time, I went in again. I wanted to lie to the doctor that I’ll come back again next week. You know.. maybe he won’t give me so many tablets and I don’t have to pay that much. But before I tell him anything, he asked me to lie down. The two nurses were there. I was so nervous. I don’t want. I kept asking the doctor is it necessary. I told them I’m scared of needle. It’s painful. The 2 nurses said no, it’s not. Then he said I have to pay RM120. Er.. ok.. so fast tell me how much it costs. Sadly I only have RM50. I told him and I showed him my RM50 note. The doctor was so speechles. I asked him not to worried. I said I’ll get the injection because it’s a must. The doctor asked me to go get $. I agreed and I said I’ll come back.
I walked out from the room. My sister kept asking me since we reached the clinic, what’s wrong. Why I went to see doctor? What doctor said? Why the doctor never give me any medicine. Etc etc etc. I didn’t tell her anything. I lied that I got stomachache. I don’t want her to know anything. And most importantly I don’t want my parents to know.
After a long thought, I came home. I didn’t go to get $ from the bank. I’m afraid of needle. I’m phobia to it. And I feel RM120 is just too expensive. It’s just an allergy afterall. I didn’t go to Government Hospital (GH) because I thought clinic won’t be that expensive. I don’t have time to wait for the long queue in GH and Im not convinced with GH.
Im waiting for the nurse to call me. she must ne wondering why I didn’t go back to the clinic. I didn’t pay a cent..yet. you know.. consultation fee. No, I’m not going back there. I’m scared. Just let it be lah. If the doctor is so desperate for consultation fee, come and find me la. he has my address and phone number.
Someone called me just now at 8.40pm. The number is from a house number. It’s from Digi. I didn’t pick up. who knows it’s the doctor. Sorry la im scared la.
Im kind of worried right now. I lost my appetite to eat. What if it’s more then allergy?
‘She’ asked me to go and check last month. You know..it might be some diseases..
Shit! i forgot to ask my sister not to tell my parents that we went to the clinic.
Tomorrow is the day – GE13 - Tomorrow is the day – GE13 I can choose to be quiet but there are things that I fear if I don’t say it, I will live in regret for the rest of my life. ...
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