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Monday, 27 February 2012

jobless depression

It has been so long since i wrote about myself, about me and not other things that i'm interested in. WHy care what others think of you? Just be true of yourself. Express what you feel. You can cheat the whole world but you can't lie to yourself.

I don't know why today so dull..

It's like so quiet..

And i feel lonely..

I just feel uneasy, so directionless.

i guess it's because of my job.

It's either i'm being stupid, stubborn or persistent because i only apply for one job.

I gave myself time until end of February before i start working.

Unfortunately i am still jobless. And till now i am still waiting for their answer. I've gone through all the process. They shortlisted me. Then asked me go for medical check up at their panel clinic last week. The blood test takes so long one meh..

It's either there's something wrong with my health or i don't get the job. I will go crazy if in these few days before February ends, they tell me i don't get the job.

Then i will have to apply for new jobs all over again. Lepas tu nak tunggu dipanggil interview, nak tunggu results bla bla bla. Bila baru boleh start kerja ni??

Anyone free to talk to me? ahaha.. Close friends in Penang all busy. Everytime ask them out for teh tarik, it's either they are working or they are lazy. But in the weekends, they can go out in a geng. zzz.. When u are away for 3 years, things change. No one's fault. It happened naturally. People always look for friends with similar interest to stick together. I'm into politics. I don't play games. I love history. I'm into human rights n activism. In short, i am just weird, not into any group.

It's not a problem, i feel good doing things alone. But you still need friends. I am happy to have them around. They are there when i need help and they know me well. But what's the point i only see them when i need help. As if i only look for them when i am in trouble.

Aih.. mum keeps nagging. Some people pula simply accuse this n that... oh what a night!

For once, i feel so useless. I feel so helpless.

Any magazine house, publishing company, newspaper agencies or event company want to hire a photographer? =p



  1. well it is a pretty depressing post but i get how you feel. i like things that people don't care about, i care bout things people can't be arsed about, sometimes it makes me think am i that anti-social or i've yet to find a place/group i belong to. it sucks to know you don't belong in any group but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. there must be a group somewhere you belong to, people like you. hello you're not that special ok :P kiddin but you get what i mean.

    and i don't think it's stupid to be stubborn or persistent for the thing you want or believe in. it keeps you from giving up and that's something a lot of people can't hold onto. most people just settle for something they don't like/want.

    blablabla i'm just blabbering away here cuz i'm bored and i dropped by your blog and just wanted to say hi! :) so HI *waves*