which one first

woah people!

i tell u har i have so many things to say. but so little time to type.

but i wana share what's in my mind. grrrhhh!

i don't understand what's wrong with my O.T.A.K. or B.R.A.I.N.

it keeps thinking. thoughts keep pouring in. memories keep haunting. creative ideas keep playing in my mind.

anything n everything comes in at one time.

all the 5Ws and 1H. what to do? when to do?

boleh GILA.

then what i do?

quickly right down on a piece of ppr. or key in in my handphone first, or keep mumbling to memorize it if im in the toilet.

i hate it when i can't get the things done. stress ooO!

Happy Birthday Ammi

im awake. i didn't really sleep. my body is tired but my mind is keep thinking..of many things. one thing about me is my mind is active when im trying to sleep. all kind of thoughts n memories will flash back in one shot. then i'll try to key in as many as possible in my handphone then transfer it to my laptop the next morning.

right now, it's raining so heavily since just now. my stomach is rumbling so hard. i was going to sleep again but then if i sleep, i won't wake up till the next morning.i'll wait until 9pm for the rain to stop. if it doesnt, sleep again. im super tired.

i have something important to do before i sleep.

i wana wish my mum Happy Birthday. today is her birthday, 10th Nov. she's 45 now. old d huh?

sorry i have to wish you here. i don't have the guts to call you. i tried but.. it's hard. all this while we never do that. it's just not our family's culture to say 'i love you' or 'happy birthday'. how i wish you or sister will come across my blog and read this post. i wanted to ask sis to wish you but i forgot to do so when she online just now.

im a bad son i know. i alwayz make u angry. hehe.. i seldom clean the house n i keep junks! i turn my rooms n another room into STOREROOM. =p i realised that i put my family at the second place in my heart. as in i'll do my other stuffs, think of other stuffs then only family.

you know.. i already planned to go back and celebrate it with you. really. i want to make your 45th birthday special when im 21. all this while me, bro n sis or dad never celebrate your birthday. i feel so bad you know. my friends will celebrate it with their mum or at least call to wish them but i don't. i never do that.

finally i feel i have grown up. i feel like i wana do something for you. tangible one. i wana show it instead of just praying for you n dad. i feel like i got the call from the God to repay you, to be nice to you and be a good son. i'm already 21-legal age. first time you celebrate my birthday, not to count the birthday parties when i was a little kid la.

anyway, in the end, im still here in Kampar. many things came up. i was so undecided whether to go back or to go down to Melaka. i have test on Thursday morning. i have a Journalism Gathering on Wednesday. i was so sick last Saturday. i wanted to clean my room n learn French. and i slept whole day last Sunday after not being able to make up my mind.

my sayang taught me a lot. seriously. she n her mum are very close, like sisters. they always go for shopping together. =p im impressed with the bond between them. they are so like friends. talk to each other without fear, shy or doubts. jokes around. she celebrates her mum n dad's birthday. she always call her mum n update her. the thing i like the most is, she'll say 'assalamualaikum' when she starts the conversation. =p

ammi, i want you to know that i love you. i know u never hear it from me, but i do love u. i need more time n more courage to say it. i'll be good k? i think i am. =p and im safe here, dun wori.

i'll always pray that you'll be healthy always, you'll be safe wherever you are, you'll have long live.

friends out there, please don't be like me la.. cherish the one you love especially your parents n siblings. think anout this: how many years do you have to sing birthday song to your mum? HUH?!! people get old and human dies.

grrrhh! don't care. i wana go back this week n i wana belanja her MAKAN! yes makan is my favourite activity.

Happy Birthday Ammi.

DON'T die before i do

well.. it's time where everyone is sleeping. but im here wiping my tears away. i was finishing the unsettled things that i wanted to do until i came across some videos on the net. it's the videos made to remember James Khor, one of the students who died few days ago.

My tears keep flowing like the gush of water dat swept him n his 2 friends away as I watch the videos made for him. Sometimes I wonder will people remember me when im gone? Will you? I realised human never changed. They will only appreciate you when you are gone. But is that really the only way to show your love?

Arrrghhh! Yellow by Coldplay sang by James’ friends just melt my heart away. Damn it.. my tears just keep flowing. i have downloaded the song. i repeat n repeat listening to it. as im writing this, the song is playing in my laptop.

Im sad someone has just passed away n I haven’t had the chance to know this person yet. i miss them. my heart breaks into pieces knowin dat ppl hav gone n they nvr come bck. they nvr will.. He’s such a jovial person. I once used to be like him, active. he's lovable.

People, let live this life with love and not hatred.

life and death is never in our hand. it's in His. death is just a part of our life. what's the point having so much money or so much fame or so much friends or so much wives or so much stuffs when you can't even bring them when you are gone?? people don't remember for what you have. people remember the things you do, either good or bad, how u touched their heart, what you said and how you carry yourself. it's ok to be yourself but never disgrace, downgrade or humiliate or defame anyone.

people, no mater what you do, remember that there are people out there who love you. no one is born to be hate. there are good qualities in you that people see that you don't.

i want to call da girl dat used to be part of me so badly but i just couldn't do it. i don't have the courage. and it's not gona make any difference if i cal her.

i don't want any of the persons that i know die before i do bcoz i love you ppl. i really do even if i nvr say it 2 your face. pls forgive my wrongdoings.

JOKE of the day

just found out from my friend that some people in UTAR actually hate me 4who i am-carrying a camera everywhere i go n having a malay gf. they say i have prob wif my brain.

WTF man! so what? u mana sakit? u envy the attention i get is it? let me be what i wana be! im proud to be myself n being different! stop being so judgemental and racist! you dun really know who i am. FUCK off la!

get your FACTS right nx time. never in my life i have a malay gf. boloh..

ok now everyone pls laugh! a round of applause to these SHITTY people!

cilaka babi! cokodok basi! pungkok tak cuci! jaga later u cirit! kurang asam! Kanasai! Gundechi ombodeh la!