bila putus sudah cinta

Sejak dari kecil, saya selalu berfikir dan percaya.

Apa yang penting dalam keluarga bukanlah wang semata-mata tapi kasih dan sayang.

Wang itu besar, dengan wang, segala benda boleh dibeli, segala kekurangan boleh ditempuhi.

Tapi gembirakah anda  jika wang yang ada tak membawa kebahagiaan

Tanpa kasih, tanpa sayang, tanpa cinta, tanpa percaya, tiadalah keluarga.

Rumah akan jadi hotel. Balik untuk makan, mandi, tidur dan keluar.

Apakah itu rumah jika tiada perpaduan, tiada penghormatan, tiada percakapan?

Paksaan tak membawa kegembiraan.

Bila anak dipaksa melakukan apa yang diimpikan oleh mak bapa, hasilnya adalah kesedihan.

Bila anak mengikut jalan sendiri, dia diebnci sebenci-bencinya oleh si bapa.

DI mana silapnya?

Pilih kasih semakin menebal. Apa saja yang dibuat ada yang tak kena. Kerja anak dipandang hina. Gaji sikit tapi dipaksa bagi dja lebih.

Dituduhnya anak berjudi bola. Dituduhnya itu dan ini, bulan dan bintang,

Dalam hati, dalam minda, anak itu kotor, tak guna.

Sejak kecil, ayat ayat ‘you tak berguna, you pergi mati lebih baik, mati cepat aman cepat’ berkumandang di angkasa.

Sekarang dituduhnya anak itu mencuri wang dari poket seluarnya.

Segala plot cerita dia yang reka.

Tiada siapa tahu yang benar mahupun yang dusta.

Bukankah dia anak mu juga.

Hati sungguh sayu dan pedih melihat apa yang di depan mata.

Apa yang boleh dibuat melainkan berdoa.

Diri ini tersepit di tengah-tengah dilemma.

Bila sudah tiada cinta, maka kosonglah jadinya.

Bila yang longgar makin longgar, yang jauh makin jauh, maka yang akhirnya..

Putus.

Putus.

Tak mengapa.

Kerana cinta sudah tiada..

TAMAT

“You don’t tell him you know. Nevermind if he wants to take. It’s ok to give money to son. You keep an eye on him. Do you see him bet on football or use a lot of money? You don’t tell mum you know.”


*akan ku rahsiakan perkara dari dia dan dia yang ada di rumah, supaya hati siapa-siapa tidak akan parah*

katak di bawah tempurung

Kenapa dipanggil katak di bawah tempurung? Kerana katak itu asyik berada di bawah tempurung. Katak bodoh. Katak hanya tahu duduk diam di satu tempat dan melihat-lihat. Kalau katak itu sanggup dan berani keluar daripada tempurung, maka tiada lagi katak di bawah tempurung. Jangan jadi katak di bawah tempurung. Jangan kau digelar katak di bawah tempurung. Jadilah katak di atas, tepi ataupun luar tempurung. Setiap tempurung itu boleh dipecahkan.

Hidup ini terlalu indah dan singkat untuk kita hanya melakukan perkara yang sama setiap hari.

Fikir-fikirkanlah. 

democracy buried alive

Demokrasi sudah mati,

terkubur dalam-dalam

di dalam liang hahad.

Aku hak aku

Tapi hari ini

Kebebasan ku dirampas

Aku kalah menjadi diri sendiri

Aku diikat tali

Dipaksa mengikut apa kamu suka


Minoriti dipersenda
Yang kecil bilangannya dibuli
Tak pernah kau hormat 
Si kaum minoriti
Orang Asal dipijak
Kini LGBTIQ dilanyak

Kau manusia

Aku manusia

Siapa kau

Kau siapa

Untuk menghakimi aku

Sebaik-baik aku

Sejahat-jahat aku

Biar Tuhan yang tentukan

Bukan kau!

Aku berhak

Memilih cara hidup sendiri

Dan orientasi seks serta jantina sendiri.

It’s a sad thing that Seksualiti Merdeka Festival has just been banned by the police force.

What is wrong with the festival? If you don’t like, you don’t go. If you don’t agree with them, you don’t ban them and if you hate them, you can choose not to be friend with them.

It’s as simple as that.

Education has been politicized. Religion has been politicized. Now, sex and gender are being politicized.

This is my country, Malaysia.

Democracy has buried alive.

Democracy belongs to all.

I learnt in my religion, Pendidikan Moral, Pengajian Am, Pengajian Malaysia, 1 Malaysia and from the society to accept everyone for who they are. I learnt to respect and understand them.

There must be equal rights and human dignity not just for ourselves, but also for those who are different ie. straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersex, transgender, asexual, unsure or simply fabulous.

Any festival that has to do with them is now illegal. I wonder will these people be arrested. Will these words (straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersex, transgender, asexual) be censored from the press, tv and radio.

Will I be arrested for having them as my friends? Will I be arrested if I ever use those words.

I still believe this is a democratic country.

I hope I was wrong when I think that democracy has flushed away like the shit i just produced.


54 years of independence? Merdekakah kita?


I have no idea..

Raya Pertama 2011 (1)

Hari ini dalam sejarah
Raya sampai Istana Negara
Jumpa Agong, Najib dan orang besar
Halo, Selamat Hari Raya =p

Pancutan Sperma Asid (Bersih 2.0)

I was there at the Bersih 2.0 rally. I witnessed many things that you don’t get to read in newspapers, see in television or hear in radio. If this is real democratic country, let us have freedom of writing. This sajak is my expression. Don’t tell me what to say and what not so say. 


Pancutan Sperma Asid

Aku di sana

Berdiri megah dengan isteri

Digantung di leher kecil

Dibalutnya dengan kondom ungu dan putih

Khuatir dicemari sperma berasid

Hati berdebar menanti cekupan

Kaki meggeletar

Bersedia cabut melintang-pukang

Kemudian kau mara

Datang bagaikan ombak

Mara umpama orang hilang akalnya

Gila meraung-raung diserang hysteria

Langkah mu gagah

Menongkah arus kebangkitan rakyat

Di lautan demokrasi

Benteng perpaduan ummah dicerobohi

Kau maki-maki puki

Meneranjang laki-laki

Orang tua, kanak-kanak dan wanita

Pun tidak kau lepasi

Jentera tsunami mu menyerang liar

Trak merah mengganas menghala mereka

Masuk menyelam dalam semangat kuning

Yang berjalan menghayun chota dan baton

Yang gila memukul membabi buta

Lalu tanah merdeka digempar

Siren berkumandang

Gas pemedih mata ditembak-tembak

Meriam air masuk gelanggang

Kau memancut tanpa segan silu

Sperma-sperma asid mu melekat di sini situ

Puas kau memancut

Hilang segala rasa gian

Sperma-sperma asid mu cukup beracun

Yang celik menjadi buta

Rasa cili membakar mata
Cili paling pedas ku pernah rasa

Orang-orang menjadi ayam

Lari berkeliaran

Keluar dari reban

Kau melangkah gagah

Menongkah arus kebangkitan rakyat

Di lautan demokrasi

Benteng perpaduan ummah dicerobohi

Kau maki-maki puki

Meneranjang laki-laki

Orang tua, kanak-kanak dan wanita

Pun tidak kau lepasi

Yang aman kau binasakan

Yang haram kau halalkan

Yang betul kau salahkan

Yang baik kau jahatkan

Yang putih kau hitamkan

Jahanam kau si iblis bermuka manusia

Makan minum atas duit orang Malaysia

Tapi kau berkawat di jalanan

Buat macam tanah ini kau punya

Kelakuan mu bagai orang gasar

Mengagungkan yang jahil dan korup

Memalukan bangsa dan negara

Kau memperkosa keamanan negara

Dicabuli kau kehormatan mereka

Yang berjalan muhibah di tiang hak manusia

Keselamatan mereka kau nodai

Badan mereka kau pijak

Dipenyek-penyek
Direnyuk-renyuk

Kau memancut kau menembak

Sperma-sperma asid mu

Mencari-cari yang tidak berdosa

Kerana kau kotor

Kebersihan Bersih 2.0 menyilau mata mu

Kau

Si pancut yang batangnya tegar

Tegak memancut membabi buta

Air mani asid liar di udara

Merobek suara keramat gegak gempita

Puas kah anda

Melepas nafsu kebinatangan

Menikmati saat-saat pancutan

Melihat ku dan komrad-komrad lain
menanggung sakit derita
Gara-gara kerakusan kuasa mu
Sakit pedih gila lu tau kah


Nasib baik kami tidak mengandung
Dipancut dipercik disimbah sperma-sperma asid mu
Kalau pun benar
Pasti anaknya gugur

Terima kasih si pahlawan bangsat

Kau membuka mata Rakyat yang melihat
Warna sebenar kerajaan demokrat


Oh Chin Eng
Youth Ambassador of Amnesty International Malaysia
Saturday 10/7/2011

 *So, will i get arrested for this poem?

Kampar hujan lagi

Hujan turun lagi

Wah lebat so scary

But sejuk-sejuk syiok sekali

Everyone run back like crazy

Buat orang basah sampai bawah kaki

Tak boleh keluar kena makan magee

Some people already feel sleepy

Sleep la sampai esok pagi

I think many people tonite will be busy

It’s ok to stay awake we drink kopi

If wana last longer use cap Kapal Api

But remember NO Tongkat Ali

Marilah kita menyanyi tak henti

Cepatlah daftar baru boleh undi

Because General Election sudah mau mali

If you behsyiok don’t come to me

You go makan tahi

I wana go snap pics sana sini

I will see you lagi

boringgggggg

arrghhh! bored to death aaaaaaaaa! 

eh cannot tomorrow got exam la. vandalism is a good therapy. heheheh...

PLEASE CLICK TO SUPPORT

Halo halo! Last call last call! Me n my friends made a amateur video for a competition. It's not that GREAT la but please support by clicking on this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH9xAXfdkA0 to watch. The number of viewership will determine the winner. Tolong tolong help to spread around too. Deadline is tomorrow. TQ!

You people very nice and kind-hearted one right?? =p

yummy Indian food for lunch

Lunch makan India mia nasi 

Nasi kasi banjir manyak oo kari 

Amma pedas rasa cili padi

Sedap sampai menjilat kaki

I went for lunch today with my roomate at Old Town Food Court. He seldom go that far because it's quite far to cycle there with bike. We was lucky because the Indian rice stall open on Sunday. That's my favourite Indian rice stall in the whole Kampar. I tell you it is really hard to find a genuine Indian rice here in Kampar. The Indian population is not that high. And the Indian people who sell Indian rice not much. Not more than 5 stalls or restaurants as far as i know. IF you are talking about Capati, Nasi Lemak, Roti Canai and so on, the business is conquered by the Indian Muslim. That's the reason why i brought my roomate there: to enjoy food. Ahhhh yummy la. You guys better go before 1pm if not you only get to eat the bones or lick the curry on the pots. =p

Cheap and nice: RM4 only! Extra rice, 2 types of vegetable, fried chicken, egg and papadom.Maximum satisfaction!

 

Historic drink: Owh it's historical for me because it's more than a year since i drank Limau Ais. I used to order it a lot when me n my ex when out to hunt for good roadside food. Anyway, the drink is so refreshing. RM1 only. =p

 

 I met Orson (in Orange shirt), Edmund and Cynthia (she's not in the pic).

 

 Yes so that's me eating with hand.I miss eating with hand, you know not with fork and spoon. I sure use hand if i eat Indian or Malay food and i use hand at home too. oh next to me is my roomate.

 

Old and Cool: Aren't you feel happy looking at this kind of smile from old people? As usual, these people always my favourite subject in photography. I met this uncle at the stall. He had his lunch there too. I guess he's not English educated and Tamil is his lingua franca because his Bahasa Malaysia is a bit thick and he was reading a Tamil daily.

Pantun Hujan

Hujan lebat baru berhenti
Guruh kuat wa kecut hati
Tapi cuaca memang syiok sekali
Buat aku mau tidur mati

Pantun Hari Ini 16/9/2010

Makan banyak suka hati, 

Lepas itu ronda sana sini,

Masa untuk baca tak henti-henti, 

Cuaca cantik tapi panas sekali

terasa rindu

tidak pernah aku meminta

tetapi perasaan datang menergah 

hiba di jiwa tiada siapa yang tahu

rasa rindu yang teramat sangat

pahit menusuk kalbu

benci malam yang diam membisu

sepi pilu di hati tidak terubat

perit di kala Raya menjelang

tatkala terkenang si dia yang dah pergi

hanya air mata menjadi teman

biar berpijak di realiti dan bukan fantasi

aku 

masih aku

aku

merindui mu..

 

*aih.. entah apa benda aku duk merepek!

Pantun Syiok Makan

Bazar Ramadan banyak orang sekali


P sana sini beli itu dan ini

Makan banyak tak henti-henti

Kenyang perut suka hati

Yum yum ahh so sexy

Vey happy syiok sekali

PANTUN of the day

Makan sedap happy go lucky
Itu petai wow so sexy
Bila kentut mmm wangi
Kenyang perut suka hati
Yummy yummy menjilat jari
Lepas itu beraklah lagi
Hihihihi
Syiok sekali
Everyone come n join me.
=p

my World Cup prediction

hahaha!

you guys have been listening to the Paul The Octopus too much.

n now we have the Mani The Parakeet aka Green Bird.

aduih..

how can we let these two creatures to rule us n predict our future!!

NO WAY!!

now..

Let me tell you wat Paul The Octopus and Mani The Parakeet cannot predict.

I, The OCE..

yes The Oce..

Predict that the entire world will freeze for the World Cup Final tonite for at least 1.5hours.

u wana know whether i can predict 4D number anot?

Yes i GUARANTEE you'll get 4 Ds in ur exam if u dun study.

tq.

Nyeh nyeh nyeh.

Pantun (Keamanan)

Susah senang sama dirasa
Pahit manis ditelan bersama
Baik buruk sifat manusia
Bermaaf-maafan aman sentosa

a drawing and a script

Im actually so lazy to blog, and to even talk to anyone. Just lazy lah..

So what’s up? I need to fold my clothes tonight.

Then, I wana do what I used to do when I was in secondary school – drawing n script writing.

No one really knows I can do that. Haha. I was kind of good in it though. I learnt drawing since Standard 1 n I stopped going to art class when I entered secondary school. My art teacher was Goh Hun Meng back then.

I have this creative gene is me. really. Im just lazy to use n develop it. I used to love to draw. It’s one of the way I express my feelings. Like my sister, I joined a lot of drawing and coloring competitions when I was small. I won a few awards and I made it to the international level. The last time I won a drawing competition was in 2003 if im not mistaken.

After Form 3, I stop drawing. I stop doing anything artsy-fuzzy until I met her. Then I started to draw again. I made cards, drawing n something else that got to do with arts la.

Then I stopped again. But I still keep all my artworks and the drawing materials. It’s all in my ‘museum’ now. My sister take over my ‘role’ now-to participate in drawing and coloring competition. I tell you she’s really good in it. Her room is full with trophies n she won another consolation prize last Sunday.

She’s better 10 times then I. im proud of her. im happy to see her achive so many things at the very young age.

2009 is gona end very soon. So before 2009 bids goodbye, I wana produce one masterpiece. a good one. I know it’s not easy but im ready. I have all the materials. I’ll just sketch it, just black, without colours. The subject is already in my mind. I just need some inspiration, some ilham to move my fingers to put a touch on the drawing paper.

But if I don’t start to even put a line on the drawing paper, the inspiration is not gona come. So yeah I’ll do it. N I’ll finish it, frame it before 30th. It’s urgent actually. Very urgent. This sketch meant a lot for me. who knows if it’s nice, I’ll give it to someone. =p

On the other hand, I used to write script for school plays. I was the script writer, producer, director, narrator n actor in my school plays since form 2 to form 5. After I finished my secondary school, I don’t have chance to that anymore. And I don’t have the people to do that with me.

Form 6 life is different. I was an underdog, a newbie in my form 6 school. So I don’t really feel like doing it. And no platform to do that. But I still act though.

Thanks to Arts-Ed, thanks to Penang Players, thanks to Red Comm and thanks to Ombak-Ombak Arts Studio.

Thanks to them, im still on stage, sometimes on TV as well. Hehe. I love acting. Yes I do, very much. Becoming an actor is one of my ambitions. =p

Now I have the chance to write a script again. I was so happy when someone I know asked me to produce a script for her. I was like haha very funny. I stopped doing it for years. She didn’t give up to encourage n support me to come up with a script.

So…I promised her i'll do it. hahaha! Im glad that someone look high up on me. I already have the themes in mind. im working on the storyline now. she’ll pening because my script is gona be in Bahasa Malaysia, English, Hokkien n Tamil. In Malaysia, it’s hard to produce such play. Usually, the play will either in full Mandarin, English or Bahasa Malaysia language.

The Chinese play will consist of Chinese, the Bahasa Malaysia play will consist of 90% Malays and the English play will usually have a mixed of races but all of them only speak English. So do you see the trend? If u wana involve in a prominent theatre group, u must be good in a language.

But luckily in Penang we have theatre group like Ombak-ombak Arts Studio that use different languages and people from different ethnics in their productions.

Anyway, I have to finish the script befor I go back to Kampar. My bos needs it urgently. Haha.

So let’s work on something that you used to good in.

pantun 1malaysia

1 suara 1 impian 1 malaysia
Orang Melayu, Cina, India dan lain-lain pun ada
Hidup aman, stabil, dan makmur sentiasa
Jangan buat kacau, kalau tidak saya belasah

I WANT TO MAKE HISTORY

Sakit perut! arrghh! Sakit perut means stomachache la. so damn painful la. no no. not beause I ate wrong thing or because I didn’t eat anything.

It is because…

I AM SO EXCITED AND NERVOUS!!!

I keep thinking of my public speaking competition tomorrow. Im taking part in Bahasa Malaysia category. It’s like a dream come true to compete in such competition.

The adrenaline all gushed up.

Fuh! Hati I duk berdegup-degup, berdupdap-dupdap, berdebar-debar macam nak tercabut! Fuhhh! Dengan penuh keterujaan, aku menunggu hari esok. =p

It has been at least 3 years since I felt this way. The last time I took part in public speaking was in 2007 when I was in Upper 6 and I emerged as the 1^st Runner Up in the state level.

Im doing my speech alone. Of course I ask for ideas from friends n lecturers. Im not perfect you know. Hmmm.. when she was still here, I always ask for her opinion, we discus, we argue n we make the decision together. 2 brains are always better then 1 brain what.

Well.. of cos I nak menang. But if tak menang apa nak buat kan. means that other ppl is better then me. winning or losing is just a matter of a title. The important thing is whether you have do your best or not. And I can proudly say that I have support from my coursemates, from my ex-classmates from Penang,and  from the people I know. Your support give a me courage and confident to say what I wanted to say.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Let’s wait for tomoorow. Hope to see you people tmr my classmates. I’ll be very very VERY happy to c u guys thr.  =p

Let’s memorise and practise hard hard tonight.

I WANT TO MAKE HISTORY.. AGAIN!

POWERFUL Sentence AYAT

Ok a very fast n ‘short’ post blog about what has just happened.

Woah! I feel so powerful tonight. Zzzz.. not Power Rangers la. I mean… I feel so got umpphh tonite. High in spirit. Bersemangat. N im so happy.

These people made up my night. who??

Cheah Chin Liang.

Cheong Jing Wen

Saravani Selvam

Cheah Chin Liang is a reporter in a Chinese newspaper back in Penang. He’s my so-called Sifu. Always give me a lot of advise, call me in the midnight when there are events. =p

So I asked for his help to give me some powerful sentences in Chinese since im a BANANAMAN. He asked me to think myself. What the. But then he said some else that really motivate me to the max although it is FARNEE!

“I highly hope on you. Haha. Those stupid p*liticians  will headache because of you next time. Really, because you KUAILAN enough. We need reporter who is KUAILAN.”

~ 30/11/2009 8.46PM via MSN Messenger

Hahaha! That’s so sweet of you. Thanks for the motivation for the future, for the laughter to accompany me tonight and the courage for my public speaking competition this Wednesday.

Cheong Jing Wen and Saravani Selvam are my coursemates. We are not in the same class this semester but they have been so helpful all this while.

I want my speech to be colourful and unique. I want to use some Chinese and Tamil words. So Jing Wen help me in Chinese and Sara in Tamil.

These are the 2 sentences in Chinese from Jing Wen.

“wo men shuo bu tong de yu yan,wo men you bu tong de wen hua,dan wo men zhu zai tong yi pian tu di.”

“bu lun wo men zuo ren he shi qing, bu lun wo men shen zai he fang, jin guan wo men shuo bu tong de yu yan, jin guan wo men you bu tong de wen hua,wo men shi zhong ji de ma lai si ya shi wo men de jia.”

And these are the 2 sentences in Tamil by Sara.

“ORE NAADU,NAMATHU NAADU, MALESIA, ANAIVARUM ENAINTHU SEYALPADUVOM.”

“PALAINAM, PALAMOLZHIGAL, PALAKALACHARAM, KONDA ORE NAADU NAAM MALAYSIA.”

Im not gona translate the sentences. U go and ASK your friends to translate la! haha. I love the sentences my friends. Ada power man! Fuiyo! BANGGA gila!

I’ll use that in my speech. I duno how am I going to read those sentences. Practice makes PERFECT I noe.. My speech is almost complete. Just a bit more. =p

I’ll work hard this Wednesday. Yes I WILL!

Thank you. Kamsiah. Xie xie. Terima kasih. Nandri vanakem.

*DAMN THE PIMPLE THAT JUST POPPED UP ON MY LIPS! GRRHHH!