me & bro, once upon a time

This is such a nostalgic photo. It's so nice to found my childhood photo with my brother. It's nicely kept in my grandmas house. It was taken at my grandma's old house in Sungai Dua.

Cinta

Cinta itu indah tapi perit rasanya bila mencintai si dia..

it's still raining

waterdrops from my window.

well, it's still raining out there. whole night already.

i didn't go out for dinner because my bike break down last night.

thanks to my senior, Elween who fetched me to uni this afternoon.

hmmm.. it has been some time since my blog is about my daily life. i mean, in 1 post i talk about what happen bla bla bla la.. you know.. tonight i just feel like writing a diary. who cares! if you don't like, you don't read la. If you wana attack my personal life also go ahead la. you got nothing better to do right??

today is the official day i cycle to uni in this semester although it's the second time. the first time was last Friday when i cycled all the way for 20minutes to Eastlake to meet Pei Suang and the rest then cycled for another 10mins to uni.

have to cycle lo, what to do, motor rosak ma. Siang Yong came to my house and we cycled together. we used to cycle to uni a lot last time before i got my bike. the feeling of nostalgic was there. the sky was so blue with the sunny clouds. the guard waved to me, telling me it's good to cycle. hahaha. of course it's good cuz they don't have to face me, who always try to sneek into uni. my bike don't have sticker actually. shhh.. =p

i had a presentation today. i did something different for the presentation la and i know it's not well accepted especially by a friend when she showed her disgruntled face, not looking at us at all throughout the whole presentation. hmmm.. it's ok. at least i and my groupmates dare to do something different. it's actually a simple presentation. we have to interview politicians. so we feel it'll be boring if we just explain and compare the politicians. at the end, we acted out the whole interview session. hahah. this is the very first time i act in my presentation i think. is it?? =p

my classmates especially Dai Ga Jie, Ah Joo, PC, Pei Suang and Ai Loon were so high tonight. they kept on spamming my Facebook wall by tagging me in their video. Oh God! i tell you, in total, it's more than 30 videos lo. siao la! they were so damn high. duno why.. everyone pakat and attack me. hahaa.

Then i posted this is my Facebook status, "oh JR-ians Jan 2009 intake sekalian. spam me la till this December. Wherever you all go, i will follow you, till we say bye bye. YESSSH!! muakS!".

We are going to graduate by the end of this year. I can see many people have developed, i won't use the change la. I can see developments in them. some become better in ENglish especially Ai Loon. i love to see her talk nowadays. And Vivien is not that crazy anymore. While for Mirawani, i'm touched and impressed when she let go her dream of winning a modelling competition for her studies. These are just the very few examples.

Being here in UTAR 3 years more or less has make us grown up. Saying goodbye is a hard thing but i'm sure before we say goodbye, we'll spend a lot of time together. And they already plan to go Genting Highlands in Week 13, Pangkor Island in Week 14, Terengganu in semester break and Sarawak end of this year.

hahaha. habis koyaklah poket i. But aiyah don't berkira so much la. seriously think about this, do you think you'll have the chance to travel with them after you graduate? i'm not trying to be sentimental here but this is the fact. you can have thousandsss of friends in the cyber world, but true friends only a few of them and in university's life, your classmates are your true friends.

cherish them. make use of the time when you are with them. forgive and forget, support each other.

i talk too much. lalalalalalala.

class at 8am tomorrow. oh hope that the rain won't stop so that i can sleep till the afternoon. haha. how to go to uni if it's rain. ayayaya.

one more thing, one last thing before i end my 'speech', my photos may be not good enough to be put into an exhibition, it's ok, because at least i still have my Facebook and blog to share the beauty of my life through the lense.

dear JR-ians..

Im so happy to bumped into Sara at the pasar malam just now.


we had a 10mins chat. I felt like it has been yearsss since i talked to her. She's always that nice and sweet. She helped me a lot throught my studies here in Kampar and she has been a good companion all this while.


But of course things slightly changed in this semester. But Sara is still the Sara that i knew. =p


well..


I know i have not been a good friend to my friends.


sometimes i wish i can turn back the time to do better.


I never regret i chose Journalism as my course.


Not because i love the nature of this field but the big people up in the Heaven has given me a beautiful bunch of coursemates.


and i feel so 遗憾 that i never got to know them deeply, be in the circle of family.


anyhow, wherever and whatever they do in the future, i always and always pray and care for them.


after this semester, we'll go for internship. then we left about 3 months being together before we graduate end of this year.


how many more times we'll see each other, jokes around, celebrate birthdays, go yumcha, do assignments together, argue, debate in class, have BBQ, have steamboat, ronda and explore together under the rain, hiking and got lost, play like kids at the waterfall, cycle everywhere, go karaoke, make noise in university, cover news together, produce funny video and radio ad, play childhood games by the lake, and camwhore?


I wish all of you who's applying for your internship, all the best. Don't hesitate like me. I know you are not. =p Hope you'll get the company that you want. make use of these 3 months.


to my friend who's applying to go to Cambodia for her internship, i pray hard that you'll get it. Don't worry you will. Don't missed this opportunity. Peluang tak datang dua kali..

Friends, go for your dreamsss although it seem impossible.


My eyes are watery while im writing this. I miss all of them so much. And i'm gona miss them even more during this internship.


i think during my semester break, i can start with my project already, to write each and everyone of them a letter. it's gona be a looong one. =p


To everyone out there, no points having thousands of friends in Facebook when you already have true friends in front of you. We always look for something which we already have. Appreciate what's in front of us at the present.


I'm grateful that my coursemates are there when i need them.


I'm sorry for my kecilakaness.


To my dear JR-ians Januray 2009 intake, I love you all..


I really do..

let me TELL you thisdd

How much times left for you to know ur uni mates, to spend time with them n to go crazy with them. well.. not much! so?? get ur ass up n do it b4 u graduate. =p

Where is Faizah??

At about 7.20pm today, my sister asked me something. This is our conversation.

Sister: “Why recently I always think of her?”

Me: “Who??”

Sister: “Faizah lo.”

Sister: “It’s about 5 years already I didn’t see her.”

Sister: “Do you know where is she now?”

Me: “I don’t know la.”

Sister: “I heard people say she’s in Sabah or Sarawak.”

Me: "Nola.."

Sister:  “You like have things hiding from me.”

Then I just kept quiet. I didn’t say much. I just hope she won’t ask again and slowly forget about her although my heart is telling me not to do so.

I want my sister to remember her. My sister loves her. My sister had a lot of good memories with her. My sister learnt from her.

I was shocked when she said all that. All this while, I was thinking why my sister didn’t mention her after so long. I really thought she has forgotten her. i was wrong. my ex is still in her heart, miss her and thinking of her, like i do. Kids nowadays have good memories har..

I feel bad I lied to her, I hid from her. I have been doing that since last year and she didn't know that we are not together anymore. I can tell for sure that they will never meet or talk to each other again.

it's not the time yet to tell my sister we are no more together. she'll ask more questions. she'll be sad. And i don't want her to have any bad impression on us.

Kalau tepuk sebelah tangan je takkan bunyi.

One day, she will understand why..

terasa rindu

tidak pernah aku meminta

tetapi perasaan datang menergah 

hiba di jiwa tiada siapa yang tahu

rasa rindu yang teramat sangat

pahit menusuk kalbu

benci malam yang diam membisu

sepi pilu di hati tidak terubat

perit di kala Raya menjelang

tatkala terkenang si dia yang dah pergi

hanya air mata menjadi teman

biar berpijak di realiti dan bukan fantasi

aku 

masih aku

aku

merindui mu..

 

*aih.. entah apa benda aku duk merepek!

buka puasa and celoteh

SELAMAT BERBUKA PUASA!! WOOHOOO! jom makan. it's makan time. i know la i tak puasa today but xpe.. kita makan sama-sama ye.. Bazar Ramadan kat Kampar Old Town memang best! punya banyak i sapu. tengokla apa i sapu hari ni. =p

ada Laksa Sanggul, taufufah, otak-otak, nasi lemak, cucur udang, jus pegaga, dan entah kuih apa benda la. best! sedap! i kan suka makan, kuat makan, hidup untuk makan. satu hari tak makan ok.. bukan apa, malas nak keluar. hehe.

hmm.. i makan sorang2. siapala kawan i yang puasa kat sini. yang puasa pun sikit tu je. semua pun balik kampung. sini area Cina.. Bazar Ramadan pulak jauh. so susahla students sini nak p sana.

i saw RM1 just now. no one dares to take it. so i took it. i was like thinking what should i do with it. kalau jumpa duit, rezeki la kan. but then i decided not to take it la cuz it's not mine. i remember i promised my ex before that i won't steal or talk anything that doesn't belong to me anymore. if not because of her also, i still pegang pada prinsip and maruah. kalau orang tak nampak pun, Tuhan nampak.

eh i took it but i donated it to to some guy at the Bazar Ramadan.best juga buat charity. hati rasa lapang. =p

u noe.. i puasa for a day only this time. yea you'll ask why must i puasa cuz im not even a Muslim. aih.. u won't understand la. it has to do with my previous relationship. anyway takde mood la nak puasa. u noe bila u sorang-sorang, buat apa pun xde makna kan. eh i tak emo. i cuma berkata benar. dulu i puasa cuz of her. now rasa janggal puasa alone. arrghh! memory masa lalu... she still lives in me la..

puasa this year is so dull. i don't feel Raya at all. no kick. no umpph! it's not like the previous Raya anymore. last time, i'll puasa, i'll go visit friends' house, i'll bermaaf-maafan with her but this year.. hmm.. i didn't even know that she's back. and now im in Kampar, not sure whether im going back to celebrate Raya or not.

it's funny you know when i see my friends' reactions everytime i told them that im going back to celebrate Raya. haha. they'll like huh?? why you wana go back? you Muslim meh? ayooo.. i ni Malaysian la. im not sure about you but i grown up in an environment where i accept, respect and understand other races and their cultures lo.. i celebrate all the major festivals in Malaysia.

waaaa walaueh u noe ah??? my roomate holiao oso lo.. girls always come to our house and see him one. yeala do discussion ma. but then hor most of his friends are girls. fuyoooo.. cayala! and all of them also PRETTY!! hahaha.he's quite good looking la.. =p

i went to the bank to get some money just now and i wana pengsan now! I am so broke now! serioous la. no lying. not joking. i terkejut sampai mata terbeliak bola jatuh pecah hancur looking at my account. aih.. how to travel? how to fix my laptop?

laptop is still sick. im now using my roomate's PC. tq Ah Liang. and thx to Tiffamy for fetching me from bus-stop when i reached Kampar. Thx to Rachael also for lending me ur laptop. muax muax.

im so kuai today. my bed is so neat now. i washed my bedsheet and mattress. i fold my clothes. i boiled water. i returned library books. i went to uni to snap pics. i arranged my notes. see how 'good' i am. hahaha.

oh ya! i miss her la.. how ah??

BUAT BODOH LA..

i would love to..

I would love to be on stage again.

I would love to sparring again.

I would love to be a monk again.

I would love to paint again.

i would love to write poems again.

memori kembali

tetiba nostalgia lama kembali menergah. tak berniat ku untuk mengenang tapi dia datang..

ini untuk ceritera kita yang telah sampai ke penghujungnya.. jika kau kembali lagi.. akan ku tunggu hingga uban jatuh ke bumi. pahit dan manis akan tersemat di hati. ku biarkan mu pergi, agar kau dapat cari bahagia yang akiki.. untuk mu, sayang yang pernah ku cintai..

doa ku sentiasa belayar bersama anda.. hingga suatu ketika nanti, ku tiada lagi di bumi..

good music that makes you wipe your tears..

screaming for ice cream

"You scream i scream we scream for ice-cream."

Suddenly i thought of this. SOmeone taught me this before and until today I still can't say it smoothly. haha. She used to bully me cuz she's terror in this tongue twister. i wonder whether she still remember this.

double DOUBLE happiness

Syukur.. what a good day today. I really had a very day good and prosperous day indeed.

Double double happiness! Means 4 happy things that happened today. ‘xuan xuan xi’.

1. As u all know, I got into the final of public speaking.

So I don’t have to repeat it again. But I want to say that despite the success, I managed to bring joy and excitement to people through my speech. How wonderful is that.

I want to say thank you again to everyone who were there. you guys made my Semester 3 so happening.

Trust me or not, THIS IS THE MOST HAPPIEST MOMENT BEING A UTARIAN IN UTAR KAMPAR AFTER ALMOST A YEAR.

Not to count the happiness with friends la.

2. A friend in uni told me that she saw me on TV.

I was like what??!! Why! For what? What am I doing there in TV?? All those questions popped up. im was so eager n excited to know the details.

She said I appeared in RTM 2 aka TV2 after the evening news. I was learning how to make kuih. According to her, I said that I took 1 week to persuade the kuih seller to teach how to make the kuih.

Then I start to remember about the interview that RTM did on me end of last night if im not mistaken. I couldn’t really recall exactly what happened during the interview la. I think there was also a person with me when the RTM journalist interview. Hmmm.. my sayang I guess, cuz the person took pic of me when the interview is going on.

They actually want to introduce the local delicacy that is popular in Penang. Sheau Fung from PHT called me to bring them there. So I brought them to Market Street where this Indian Muslim uncle sells the best samosa in Penang. Really sedap.

She asked me la the history of the shop, the seller, the samosa, about how I got involved with AAK n PHT, my feelings towards heritage etc etc lo. It’s so funny because I was talking in my broken Chinese with limited vocabulary. The show is in Mandarin ma.

Then the lady journalist asked me to demonstrate how to make samosa. Zzz.. I don’t think I learn how to make samosa before. I only interviewed them, watched them n eat samosa. Hmmm.. so for the very first time, I got the privilege to make samosa with the bos’s guidance. What a interesting experience.

I thought they show the programme already. Haha. I was wrong!

Thanks to AAK, PHT, ARTS-ED, I got a lot of exposures on many aspects in life, work and relationship. Through this NGOs, I learn performing arts, music, acting, interview skills, how to do research data management, how to do a good questionnaire, how to do good mind map, how to do documentation, event production stuff, appreaciation and the values of cultural heritage and heritage tour guiding.

Thanks to them also I found my love and I got to know Heritage Mafia and Kaki Penang. I miss Janet Pillai’s scoldings. I miss Sheau Fung. I miss Yoke Pinn.

I learn more about my root, my state’s history, the cultural heritage, the people of Penang and what's in their mind.

Talking about me on TV, I thought of these funny incidents. Im very kaypo aka busybody in my hometown, Penang. Whenever n wherever there are accidents, disasters, events, etc etc, I’ll be there..with all press. So nice to be with them at the front row to take pictures. Hahha. So the funny thing is I appeared on the newspaper quite a number of time…accidentally. Haha. the story is not about me but my picture was in there. it’s not my intention to be in the shot but it just so coincident that I was there. haha. I accidentally become popular lo.

3. Someone, my coursemate la, she suddenly said that “u noe i think ur more important to me den my bf. i think like secara tak langsung i think u are more important as a fren la!! r maybe we shud get married”

Fuh! I totally gone blank. What a statement. It sounds so wrong la. gila la her. so random. Don’t worry. No, she is not falling in love on me. haha.

Don’t la. not me la. go find some better guys in UTAR la. I also don’t want la. hmmm.. I just think feel ok to date someone in the uni especially your coursemate. So hard la. what if you argue, then your friends will have a very hard time to think who should they support. And what if the couple break up, it’ll be super awkward then.

So better keep the friendship then to ruin it.

I said to her, "cz im ur fren ma, we r clasmate n coursemate wat. we r clos wat." 

At least I know la im a good fren to her although she’s a bit cracko. Kind of sampat. hehe. I never thought that someone will say that to me. Something that a friend won't say. Something that sounds like a person likes me. I feel delighted about it. Yeala, so long already no one says such thing to me. Although im close with other coursemates as well, we don’t say such things la. malu la. shy la. if love love pun, just keep it in our heart la. take this 3 years to know each other better lo.

4. My roommate, Siang Yong is home. What a surprise. I thought he’ll only be home tomorrow. Anyway im so happy to see him. Very happy.

we go gay in the house, yell, scream, sing and camwhoring. Haha. I’ll show u his sexy photos. Oh he took some sexy shots of me too. Waaa bergay manyak syiok.

I asked him to massage me. hmm.. there’s room for improvement.

CONCLUSION

I had a bad Semester 2. Now, I feel good things start to happen towards end of the year. Isn’t it a good thing? Let’s work harder and achieve more. Well.. if I don’t work hard now and try to achieve my dreams, when else to do that? Opportunities don’t always come.

last night's thoughts tonight

Had some thoughts last night before I slept. So this was what in my mind last night.

1.       Waaaa.. the moon is so bright tonight. So romantic. Waaaa look at the stars. Twinkle twinkle little stars. How nice if I have a mat now. I’ll definitely sleep under the sky accompanied by the moon n the stars.

2.       Hmmm.. the whole house is so empty tonite. EMPTY! QUIET! SUNYI! SEPI! DIAM! Eeew.. everyone has gone back to their hometown because of Hari Raya Haji public holiday. Again, im all alone in this 3-storey mansion. Roommate also went back.

3.       The whole Westlake is like a dead town. Everyone went home. Many of them will have their unofficial holidays for next week, continue by study week. Then only they’ll come back here for exam. they don’t care avout the attendance already la. barred list is out. Most of the subjects are Pass/Fail subjects. No one really study hard for it.

4.       What should I wear for my public speaking competition huh? Samfu? Bcoz I nvr wear that in UTAR yet. Baju Melayu? Bcoz the 3 judges r Malay, can impress them la. 1Malaysia ma.

5.       I wana go home. So sudden I know. Just feel like going home la. hmmm.. should I should i? =p if I go back, I’ll go lepak or I’ll just sleep at home la. hmmm.. I won’t do my speech.

6.       When I go home next Saturday, I wana go watch 2012 or New Moon. I wana ask her out. I know it’s not gona work, but ask only ma..

7.       Now I realised what she used to tell me is true. Im not saying that I didn’t trust her just that it’s not my culture to put some water on the plate after we finish eating. Malay n Indians share this belief. Im smiling alone in my room, recalling the moment she poured water on my plate and said ‘mama I kata lepas makan mesti letak air. Tak baik biar pinggan kering.’ =p

3 + 1 = friends forever

from L to R: The Sampat Vivien, The Ganas Tiffany, The Cool Racheal, and The Cute Chin Eng.

hahaha. i found this picture when i was about to sleep. we took this picture in the midnight of 13/11/2009 after i got ambushed by 3 of them. everyone looks so nice. oh i like this picture cuz i look good. hohoho. i love you 3 cracko! 3 of u made my life so colourful in Kampar.

gnite ppl. xoxo.

Chin Eng says..

ohhh... i feel so in love by browsing through all da pics i took ever since i had my first digital camera back in 2002. Not to forget the film pictures from my analog camera too. It's so heartwarming to look at the places i've been, the food i had, the wonderful n CILAKA people i met along the way, the one and only SAYANG that came into my life, my crazy and helpful buddies in Sekolah Menengah Hutchings and St. Xavier's Institution etc. I had so much sweet memories n great achievements. I can c how i changed physically and personally. I've grown to be who I am today. I learn frm my xprience..through da pics n my writings. thx everyone n everything dat came into my life. God bless you.

senyum seindah suria

senyum seindah suria
yang membawa cahaya
senyumlah dari hati
dunia mu berseri
senyum umpama titian
dalam kehidupan
kau tersenyum
ku tersenyum
kemesraan menguntum
senyum
kepada semua
senyuman mu amatlah berharga
senyum
membahagiakan
dengan senyuman
terjalinlah ikatan

Pernah tak anda dengar lagu ini? Ingat lagi tak lagu ini?
I ingat. Lagu ni dah lama masa I sekolah rendah dulu. I suka sangat lagu ni. I ingat lagi setiap bait-bait lagu dan melodinya sehingga hari ni. Music videonya terdiri daripada masyarakat Malaysia yang berbilang kaum. Kalau you tengok MV lagu ni, gerenti u gelak dengan apek-apek kat dalam yang senyum tak bergigi. Kan best kalau RTM siarkan lagi iklan ni. Lagu ni menceriakan orang yang sedih.

Hati I akan gembira kalau saya melihat orang senyum. Saya rasa tenang sangat. Saya rasa lega sebab saya membawa keceriaan daripada kesedihan. Lagilah best kalau orang yang senyum tu orang yang I sayang.

I suka tengok dia senyum. Manis sangat-sangat. Senyuman dialah yang membuatkan saya terjatuh hati dengannya. manis sangat.. cantik. menarik. Hati saya tertarik tertawan. Haha.

Senyumlah selalu. Sesungguhnya senyum itu satu sedekah. Senyuman anda membawa seribu makna dan kegembiraan kepada orang lain. Anda tidak perlu membayar untuk mengukir sebuah senyuman. Bukan susah untuk melakar dunia yang penuh dengan bunga-bunga cinta.

Maternal Grandparents

Hehe. This is the wedding picture of my maternal grandparents. Cute huh. So nostalgic lah. they are so gona kill me if they find out i post this pic. =p