i, am not ok..

UTAR Ball has taken a toll on my life.

The event is over but the mess is not over yet. I just hope as a team, everyone will bear the responsibilities together. This is our event and not my event. Don’t just quit or pin-point when we are in troubles.

A lecturer just told me that he will deduct my marks. Ok.. Yea because I didn’t do well in my coursework. I deserved that. Even if I give him what he needs now, no use already.

Oh besides that, I didn’t submit an assignment which due last week. Haha. What the fark am I doing right. It’s all my mistake. Not that I didn’t do but I can’t finish it. I slept at 4.30amon Thursday. Woke up so early on Friday and work on the ball whole day. Saturday is about UTAR Ball again.

Im living in the world of worries and insecurity every single day...

I screwed up my assignments. My studies drop like shit. I’m totally not happy with my life now.

Whenever my friends see me, they’ll ask am I ok, why am I looking down, tired and stress. They see it themselves that I am not ok.

I am really not ok.

Since beginning of March, everything seems so disorganized. Everything seems not ok.

Whenever I try to settle something, there will be sure some other things popped up to be settled. At the end, many things are unsettled.

You know.. I am tired n down. I skipped a lot of classes this semester.

I am worried. I am so so worried.

I’ve totally no mood to talk to anyone. I get angry so easily. I lost my patience when I talk to people, even people who I’m close with.

What can I do now? What should I do now? What choice do I have?

The final exam is the only way I can save myself. The only way. Please, don’t bother me with event’s problems anymore, I had enough. Just give me a break please. Let me alone. At least for these 2 weeks until I’ve done with my final exam.

PRIORITY!

Now, my internship is still in limbo. The company hasn’t reply to my lecturer. I told him that I don’t wana intern in UTAR.

He was so happy when he knew that we can intern in UTAR. What the fark man, who wants to intern in his/her university? I DON’T WANT!! Now is week 14 and no answer from the company yet. Then what should the students do? We live in fear every day, afraid that we can’t go out to do internship, afraid that we must stay in UTAR to do our internship. Can the lecturer please help us out? Please..

He’s like cincai cincai all the time. sorry la but this is how I’m feeling.

Arrrghhhhh!

Seriously don’t ask me to do anything else. I am fed up. Suddenly here not enough money, there not enough money. Must attend this meeting and that meeting. Suddenly money hilang. Suddenly have to settle some stuff and rush to university. Oh ya not to forget ongoing, continuously INCOMING CALLS, SMS, and FB NOTIFICATIONS! Halo what kind of life is this??

YES I AM COMPLAINING! GO AWAY IF YOU DON’T WANA LISTEN.

I am now giving away giving up everything in my hand for studies. Ok?

DON’T ask me for photos unless it’s necessary. Politics? Get off!

I’ll read less news, care less, totally less Facebook-ing, take less photos, sleep less, still going to eat more and STUDY!

I don’t know what’s gona happen if I flunk my final exam. NO! that’s NOT gona happen!

I am so in a mess right now. Don’t believe me? Look at the photo or you are welcome to my room. I’m not hiding anything and telling people how good I am because I am so not in a good position right now…

I.. Am not OK..

ohm...

money matters

If you ask me do I trust someone when it comes to financial.

My answer would be no.

Why no?

Why not yes?

Why must yes?

Human nature: there’s greed in everyone. When you have the chance to keep something for yourself for free, you’ll do it.

In organizing an event, sure there will be a lot of expenses. But impossible you wana claim everything right? There are things that we have to spend by ourselves to make the event a success. If every single thing also claim, then pokai la.

And when it comes to claiming, there are sure people will give fake receipts. Eh eh I wana ask, you don’t afraid that people might find out meh? You don’t afraid of your religion meh? You tak takut dosa ka? Nanti tidur tak lena, makan tak lalu, mandi tak basah and berak taik tak keluar!

When so many people have to chance to hold on to the money, fraud will happen.

When there are so much procedures and steps or bureaucracies in getting the money or passing the money, fraud also happen.

This is why we have corrupted people. Duit dah melekat kat bola mata.

I also don’t have faith in myself. But of course I control myself. I still have high discipline, conscience, ethics, moral and fear for my religion.

You take people’s money today, tomorrow you’ll lost even more.

Never do bad to others la.

Money is important.

Money can be everything.

But conscience is always above money.

Mini Thaipusam? Many people don’t know about this celebration. We only know the real Thaipusam in the month of January or February.

Mini Thaipusam or the real name is Chithirai Pournami. It is actually the 1st Full Moon of Tamil Calendar. As usual, there’ll be people carrying milk pot and kavadi.

I missed Thaipusam this year, as in not carrying kavadi and no piercing and I feel not good about it.

Mini Thaipusam is today and few days ago I planned to go for it but I can’t because yesterday is UTAR Ball. I need to be on vegetarian and stuff.

But now, the urge is there for me to at least go and have a look and pray. When I wana do something regarding religion, I’ll do it. It’s not good when you say and when you think you wana do something religious but at the end you didn’t.

It’s all about your faith.

I still don’t feel good about UTAR Ball because there are many problems to be settled.

It’s ok.. let me go pray first.

i'll be on vegetarian today.

Teluk Intan here i come.

Nothing and no one I can count on to now except for religion.

At least religion is true, religion will never lie on me.

biggest mistake in my life

I just made the biggest mistake in my life.

Instead, I made it few months ago, in 2010.

If I ever persevere, stick to my principle, all these wouldn’t happen.

I never wanted UTAR Ball. NEVER! UTAR Ball, ball night, events, entertainment, girls, party are never in my mind. That’s not the reason why I joined SRC.

My biggest mistake was I accepted explanation and persuasion from Dr Teh and support and agreement from my own committee.

It was a mistake. It is a mistake.

It’s all my fault. I’m a weak leader.

This is the biggest defeat in my life.

Yes we managed to pull it through. We have to change the venue from Tambun Lost World to Kampar Club. Majority of the people who came were extremely happy. They were partying crazily, screaming, and enjoying themselves to the max. They were laughing all the way and it’s a good thing because that’s the point of continuing this event.

While they were enjoying themselves, I was standing there at one corner, looking at them while my mind at somewhere else, thinking, cracking my head on how to solve the financial problem.

I am totally not feeling happy. People are laughing happily but my tears are flowing, heart aches bitterly to the max.  

Fingers will soon be pointing to one direction, to me.

I just hope that miracles will happen.

I just hope that I won’t be alone.

Actually why am I so sad? Yea I already made a big mistake by allowing this event to takes place ever since from January 2011. But I’m even more sad when there’s trouble, everyone is running away. Many people are quitting. Many fingers are pointing to me and I’m talking about my own committee members!

Like Hong Leong said, the lesson is I must be firm. I must dare to make my decision as a chairman and all will have to follow my words.

Yea it’s ideally that way but in reality, that scenario can never happened in the team.

Throughout the whole event, I got to see more of the real faces of people. Some people have their wn agenda. Some people are taking advantage of the networks, financial, friends, girls, reputation etc.

And some, they really put their heart and mind into making this event a success. In this group of people, those who really worked as I observed, are the innocent ones.

I thought after tonight, I’ll be free but no. There are damages that have to be repaired. There are messes to be cleared. There are debts to be paid.

Despites all the obstacles and problems we faced, we made it happened. I must thank all the committee members, helpers, sponsors, performers, university, Sahara, Kampar Club, participants and friends. Thanks a lot.

Thanks to the 4 committee members and 6 helpers who stayed back till the end, till midnight to clean up. Thanks to the girl who said this to me, “May God bless you.”

Thank you. Yea I know the god has been blessing me and I don’t ask for anything more. Hope you guys will be blessed as well.

I am gona silent my phone and sleep till God knows what’s the time. I’m not gona pick up any calls or reply any sms-es.

I..made the biggest mistake in my life.

*It’s easy to avoid responsibility than to bear responsibility.

the show must go on

hmmm.. UTAR Ball 2011?

It’s very ironic. Top guns keep telling me as a chairman you don’t have to do anything, you just observe, monitor and do some surveillance. Ok.. that’s totally different from what I’ve been practicing. I still helped what I can and what I know. But when there’s problem. Every finger is pointing at me. Mouths are telling that I didn’t do anything and I NEVER help my committee. Hmmm.. ok.. these two statements are so contradict. It’s not easy to be at the top. You can’t please everyone you know.

It’s human nature..

When you make mistake, people only look at your mistake and nothing else. Your track records are nothing because you already made a mistake and people will remember your mistake.

Many people out there, as normal will give their point of view but they don’t know what’s going on inside. Only inside people know the truth.

A lot of top guns in the committee said they can do this and they can do that, but at the end of the day, only a few of them and only the talked less people did the amazing things. For those who talked big, now they kept quiet. Sometimes they put they blame on others. As for me, I made a mistake by not putting 100% effort in it.

I chose to just listen and I won’t put the blame directly to any specific person. I make mistakes and I admit it. For those in denial, let it be.

my stomach is kacau again since few days ago. im tired but couldn't sleep because of the pain. what the toooot la.

 While the Sarawak people are fighting for a change, I will be fighting to make a good UTAR Ball despite all the hurdles the committees have to face.

We are fighting here in Kampar to give a good show.

The show must go on!

I just have one hope tonight. Please no rain.

Thank you.

vote for CHANGE in Sarawak

i remember clearly a day before March 8 2008 election, it's like a sea of bloody red with thousands of people wearing red were flooding Han Chiang School, Penang despite the pouring rain. Now it's the same thing happening again a day before Sarawak State Election. The wave of change is now in Sarawak? we'll see tonight.

I hope there will be a change. It's time for Sarawak people to have a change. vote for change!

People are no longer that passive. They are no longer that scared. They know their rights and they know what to do now.

i can't wait to see the results tonight.

I can't wait to see Taib down, i can't wait to see BN down. Give Opposition a chance.

All the best to PKR, DAP, PAS and SNAP.

away..

This is gona be a very long long post..

Thoughts keep pouring in. yea it’s like the rain pouring non-stop. My body is tired but mind is still working.

I’ll be away..

Away..

I’ll be away.. away from communication with people. Away from talking to people. Away from making any comments and expressing myself. I’ll be away.

From now onwards, I I shall try my best not make any statements in Facebook anymore. I’ll just use my blog as FB, post my thoughts and opinions. Well, at least when I use my blog, not much people will notice it. I can even store what I said here. I have more freedom and I don’t have to be worried people will give crazy comments.

I am tired.. everyone is tired too.

I put away everything for this event. Like others, I sacrificed as much time, effort, money and energy as I could. Last year in December, I said to the ex-chairman and the team that this event must be done greatly and properly if not all our efforts all this while to clean the name of SRC will be destroyed. I said our name is at stake, our reputation is at stake and we couldn’t let that happen. This is a very risky event.

But now everything is macam taik. I screwed up my studies and assignments. I have no time for myself. My relationship with friends got affected. I lost a lot of opportunities in life. I have to give up many things because of this UTAR Ball.

I need some rest..

I am not running away. I just need time for myself. I’ll bear the responsibilities as the chairman because I am the chairman. When my team has problem, I should always support and back them up no matter what.

The whole event taught me a lot of things. I’ve seen a lot of things from my eyes, but most importantly from my heart..

I learnt to know more about human beings. I’ve learnt so much, much more in these 3 weeks than in my 20 years of life.

One of the lessons I learnt, don’t be last minute in decision making. If not, you die, die badly. what i mean here is, if you already make up your mind, don't change it last minute due to pressure or influence from people.

And don’t trust anyone so much. Most importantly, one must be firm in decision-making.

I also noticed that when there are troubles, people will escape. Hmmm.. Aren't we supposed to support each other?

well, i guess it's true what one of the HOD told me: it's human nature.

The event is definitely not the best perhaps the most sucks one but I guess I have one of the best experiences in my life.

Only the inside people know what actually going on throughout the whole event. As for the outsiders, they deserved the right to be angry. What I wish is that everyone tries to calm down and understand the whole situation instead of continuing scolding, blaming, condemning and insulting us. The fact is not gona change.

Things already happened. No point blaming anyone.

Reputation? Image? Good name? bla bla bla.. for me, it’s important but it’s not the most important thing after all. If you have good record, people know it. If you work hard you can have good reputation too. Reputation and be earned back if we work hard.

No matter what decision we make now, our reputation will be tarnished. This is an unchanged fact. Whatever you do now also people marah. You cancel, people marah. You postponed people also marah. You change venue people also marah. So marah la but the show will goes on! For sure, we can never continue in Tambun because of the 20k deficit.

No matter what, I’ll just ends off what I’ve started. Do or don’t do, the results are gona be the same. So why don’t give it one last shot, give it another chance and do or best? It’s better to try to do and die than to die and never try at all. Everyone in the team has done their best, did all they could. So I’ll give my best for the event despite all the unhappiness and criticisms. I don’t wana regret later on.

After this event, I’ll do what I like to do. I’ll eat what I like to eat. I’ll go wherever I like to go. I’ll say whatever I like to say in my blog. Like it or not, I’ll be who I am. Afterall, who are we to decide what people wana think of us?

I’ll be as low profile as possible. I never wish to get appreciation or recognition from anyone for my works or talents or knowledge or whatsoever things I can deliver. I do it willingly. I do it cuz I can and cuz I wana contribute.

This is most probably gona be the very last event im gona do. I don’t belong to this kind of community. For smaller events, I was a lone ranger. People don’t share what my principles, beliefs, ideologies and ideas. Normal la.. so I’ll just do my own things, do it myself and no need to put others in.

I never have such defeat before. This is the first time and the biggest one.

And most importantly I won’t involve in anything anymore. I’m not good and I’m not capable at all. There are so many people who are 10 times better than me. I’ll only screw up things. I’ll just be an observer and help out when needed.

Sorry for everything from A to Z. if you feel I made mistakes in any ways, I’m sorry. Thank you too everything good things that you have done to me and to the team. You have worked your ass off, putting too much efforts with sleepless nights plus the time and money you spent.

There’s no way I can repay everyone’s good deeds. What I can do is to pray and wish to the religion that i believed in that you’ll be blessed, healthy always and success in your life. I believe good people will have good repay.

Thank you also to everyone who's still with us, supporting us and continue their participation in this event.

Thank you again to everyone for all your help. Thanks to friends who care. Thanks to those who try to understand me and the whole situation. Your words of encouragement do make the difference.

It’s all my fault la. If I chose to end it 1 month earlier, the damages won’t be as great as now. There will be less people affected. But every decision comes with a price right. Anything can happen. Life is not always that beautiful.

I just can’t wait for Saturday night because after that I am free. I can get away and runaway.. after this I can be a normal student again. I can focus on my studies, on my personal lives and things that I enjoy to do.

Well, I should stop here now. If not I can continue to rant and talk and talk till tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow cuz I still have a lot in my mind.

Have a good rest la everyone as we have to finish our task nicely tomorrow. I need to go now as I’m going to puke anytime soon..

* lone ranger is good. =p

YOU are quoted

When we need a magic and the magic is not there; We'll become the magician and create our own magic.

~ Raymond Goh
~ 15/4/2011
~ via FB

happy new year

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Happy Vasakhi to the Sikhs.

Happy Tamil New Year to the Indians.

Happy Vishu New Year to the Malayalees.

and Happy Songkran Festival to the Thais.

YES YOU CAN

A smile can make up your day. A loud shout can take away your nervous, worries and stress. A simple message can motivate you. A physical or a virtual hug can make you calm down and loved. A scolding can boast your confidence. anyway, YES YOU CAN!

It's not about whether you can or cannot. It's not about whether you have to do it or not. it's about whether you want it or not. If you want it, then do it. Go all out, do all you can. Make your choice a worth one. DOn't regret later. YES YOU CAN! YES! YOU CAN!! YOU CAN!!!

SET YOUR MIND, PUT YOUR HEART, HAVE FAITH, NEVER HAVE DOUBTS, BE POSITIVE, GO ALL OUT, DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY.

YES YOU CAN!

wohooo! alright to boast up my confidence and make myself happy, i need to get an ice cream now! yes i can get an ice-cream! =p

QUOTE of the day

When stupid people ask stupid question ,we just act stupid. If we answer, it’s gona be a stupid answer and we gona be like a stupid person. So, don't be stupid.

messy

EVerything is messy like the lines and colors in this photo. Im feeling stress and tired as well. when i close my eyes, my mind is till running here and there. nice sleep? never! Physically tired. that's ok. Physicals can heal. But when the mind is tired, it's hard to continue working.

My room is messy. i hardly have time to really clean it.

My mind is messy. too many things to think and too many things to do at the same time.

my assignments are messy. 2 more presentations and 1 written report.

hmmm.. messy messy. is your life messy?

well, everything can be messy but not your life.

YOU are quoted

dear leaders, make sure whatever you say it out from your mouth is GOLD and make sure you walk your talk and make whatever you say happen. be dependable and not like pure politicians where all your words are empty promises without any actions.

~ Jason Yeah
~ 9/4/2011
~ via FB

Giving Dana

Many people prefer to give money to help others. But for me, money is not everything although it’s important. I prefer to buy food for the needy ones or lend them a hand. I think that’s more meaningful. And when I do that, I feel a maximum satisfaction out of it. You just feel awesome and contented when you get a smile from them, even if they don’t say thank you.

Well, just now early in the morning I went to Kampar Old Town’s foodcourt to give Dana to two Theravada monks from a nearby temple at Temoh. Dana is actually a Pali word. It’s an act of giving to others. It does not mean that you give only material things that cost money. For you can give many immaterial things as well. (http://www.mahindarama.com/e-library/dana-vis.htm#1). Dana is an act of loving-kindness and non-selfishness. You’ll earn a lot of merits from it. And it’ll improve your karma. But when you give dana, never expect to get something in return. Doing charity or volunteerism must always come from a sincere and honest heart. Dana is not meant only for monks but for non-monks as well.

This was actually my second time doing dana. I did my first dana last year, alone. The monk will only come every Friday morning and left by 8.30am. I’ve always forgotten about this event. Not that I am lazy you know.. I really lupa. Furthermore, I’m lazy to wake up early when I don’t have class on Friday.  Thx to Poicia, she’s the one who reminded me and ajak me to do dana this morning.

So I went there around 8am. I was late, just a little bit late. Yea just a little bit late. But Poicia gave her dana already. I was like huh so fast?? It’s not like very urgent, why they wait for me. Hmmm.. but then I realized well, I was late. Whether late for a minute or an hour, it’s still late. Late means late. When you are late, you’ll miss a lot of things. I regret. I regret for being late. I regret for not being discipline waking up on time. I regret for procrastinating. Don’t ever be late la.. no use to regret because it’s already over and it has happened. Big loss..

Anyway, a lot of people especially the locals buying food for the monks. True Theravada monks never beg for money or sell amulets. They only accept food. I was in dilemma because I don’t what to buy to them. I remember Kwan Yee said that it’s better to buy dried food so that it can last long. She also told me to buy food that has no colouring. So at the end, I bought them a papaya and wheat bread. Both also good for health ma. =p

People, giving is always better than receiving.

Do more dana la…

It's another good awesome day! =p

QUOTE of the day

Winning or losing is just about your mindset. You can be announced as a loser but you can walk away as a winner.

problem talking with a 'holy' man

It is a BIG problem when you talked to a so-called 'holy' person or a person who's so 'religious'. These people will never accept and cannot accept opinions from others. For them their religion is the best. Aih.. And i always sakit hati gunung berapi mau meletup talking to them. Not that i don't accept their religion but i just can't accept their mindset.

I found an old friend from primary school and he's a teacher now. I was so shocked that he has changed to that kind of person. Well, i don't feel comfortable talking to him as i feel he's very intimidating and scary. I don't like i when people try to convert me.

You see, all teh religions are right and pure, it's the people who are dirty, corrupted and go nuts.

Below are the converstations between us in Facebook. Ianya dalam bahasa Melayu. Kalau tak faham, gunalah Google Translate. Semoga ia dapat membantu mentranslatekan apa yang perlu ditranslate denagan translation yang betul.

Friend: Pengalaman menjalankan program perkampungan orang asli: waktu solat berjemaah di bilik...mereka memerhatikan di luar tingkap...moga mendapat petunjuk dan hidayah dari belenggu animisme.


Me:  belenggu aninisme? erm.. saya rasa kita tidak patut mengongkong atau cuba menyekat pemikiran dan cara hidup serta kepercayaan kaum lain. setiap kaum mempunyai kepercayaan mereka dan kita harus menghormatinya. Orang Asli tidak pernah dibelenggu aninisme tetapi hidup secara harmoni dan menghormati alam. adakah kita yang kononnya lebih memahami agama ini lebih taqwa taat dan memenuhi ajaran agama masing-masing? tepuk dada usah tanya selera. tanyalah iman tanyalah diri.


Friend: kawanku, dalam konteks ini saya tidak dapat membenarkan 100% apa yang diluahkan...bagi kami umat Islam, jalan ke pintu syurga menurut kaca mata Islam hanya satu iaitu melalui Islam itu sendiri malah dengan tegasnya saya berani katakan Islam... adalah cara hidup yang mesti dipunyai oleh semua makhluk..sebab itu saya mahu membebaskan pemikiran animisme kerana fitrahnya manusia hidup bertuhan dan kerana Dialah yang menciptakan segala-galanya...Hidup beragama juga mengajar kita akan kepatuhan dan tunduk kepada yang Maha satu bukannya pada Matahari, pokok, awan, lautan dan angin yang merupakan sebahagian unsur nikmat yang dikurniakan Allah kepada hambaNya...Soal menyatakan ketaqwaan dan keimanan bukan urusan kita..Jika manusia diberi kebebasan untuk menghukum ketaqwaan dan keimanan seseorang maka rosaklah dunia...saya tidak mahu menyekat pemikiran atau kepercayaan masyarakat lain, walaubagaimanapun ia merupakan tanggungjawab kami sebagai Islam yang akan dipersoalkan akan peranan kami di dunia dalam menyampaikan kebenaran...Tidak berguna kita beriman dan bertaqwa sekiranya yg sedikit itu tidak kita sampaikan maka diazab jualah kita...kami hanya sekadar menyampai risalah para nabi-nabi terdahulu..terpulang kepada masyarakat untuk menerimanya. Islam juga tidak pernah mendesak seseorang itu menerima Islam...carilah buku tentang bagaimana dan kenapa umat Islam perlu berdakwah dan kisah nabi terdahulu...Semua persoalan akan terjawab. Saya terbuka dalam hal ini.Harap perkara ini akan menjernihkan segala yg keruh.

Me: secara ringkasnya setiap individu mempunyai agama dan kepercayaan masing-masing. setiap agama mempunyai ajarannya masing-masing. dari cara percakapan sahabat, adakah saudara bermaksud agama Buddha, Kristian dan Hindu itu agama yang salah? Saudara bagaikan ingin merekrut bukan Islam untuk masuk Islam. Bagi saya ini adalah tidak patut jika seseorang itu telah beragama. Jangan secara sewenang-wenangnya melemparkan tuduhan melulu, tidak bernas secara membuta tuli bahawa seseorang itu dibelenggu aninisme. Atas dasar dan landasan apa didakwa mereka ini dibelenggu? Ini adalah satu penghinaan buat mereka. Walaupun saya bersetuju Islam agama yang baik dan suci tetapi adalah salah jika kita tetap dengan pendirian bahawa agama kita adalah yang terbaik dan agama yang lain tidak. Agama mengajar kita untuk berbaik-baik dan menghormati antara satu sama yang lain. Peranan sebagai umat kepada agama tertentu dengan bertindak terlalu ekstremis dan konservatif hanya akan mendatangkan musibah daripada keamanan. Lihat saja apa yang berlaku di negara asing di mana pertumpahan agama berlaku apabila penganut dua agama bertarung untuk menunjukkan kekuatan dan kebenaran agama masing-masing. Kalau suatu hari nanti, seseorang terbuka hatinya untuk menerima agama tertentu, ini bermakna dia telah menerima hidayahnya. Tidak perlu mereka dipaksa dan tidak perlu ditukar agama mereka dengan cara 'brainwash' atau gertakan. Saya menghormati agama Islam, saya ingin memahaminya dengan lebih mendalam lagi dan saya juga berharap saudara boleh berbuat perkara yang sama terhadap kami yang bukan Islam. Setiap orang ada kebebasan beragamanya. Saya tidak perlu masuk Islam untuk ke syurga kerana saya serta sahabat-sahabat bukan Islam yang lain juga mempunyai syurga kami sendiri. Treat others as you would like to be treated. ini hanyalah pandangan peribadi saya.

sun has set

Photo taken from Golden Path,Kampar, Perak at 7.07pm 3/4/2011

QUOTE of the day

In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it.
~ Marianne Williamson

sunday super talkative

Argghhh! Why random thoughts keep pouring in non-stop! Ayoyuoyo! It makes me talk non-stop nia. I’m fed up with my own FB cuz I always see my name. ish. Im so super talkative today. anyway i love Kampar. why so? the rain is beautiful, even the hot sunny burning day also has its own beauty.

For those who are arguing about the alleged Anwar Ibrahim’s sex video, stop it lah. I’m so fed up already. Everyone is so irritated and irked. I seriously feel like vomiting now. Why the whole country and the politicians keep repeating the same issue. Trust me or not, it’s a sex issue and it’s to bring a politician down. Aduih, don’t make a joke here and give unnecessary promotion and publicity for our country. Other people from other country don’t even have energy cuz no money no electricity, everyone is suffering from poverty and disaster but you politicians waste time and money talking bullshit talking cock. You no cock want to talk cock is it??

anyway, Never ever do evil. If not, your guilt will haunt you forever. Win with right and fair way. Don't cheat. Sekali tersilap langkah, musnah segala-galanya.  

more than words

I'm touched and honoured when someone special said something so motivating, appreciating and true and yet insinuating.

She said:

You are a person with confidence. If not, how can you be SRC president? You are afraid of nothing. Anything also you’ll do. You explore everything. You bokiasi.

Well, i guess it's kind of true the part where she said im confident.

Thanks Tze Huey. xoxox

QUOTE of the day

Whatever we do, there are people who'll look down and dislike us but it's ok because there are also people who recognize and appreciate what we do. =p

smiling Tuesday 30/3/2011

It’s such a beautiful day when u r feeling gud, doin gud, seeing smiles frm frens, sharing gud news n get congrats frm lecturers, gettin advises and philosophies frm Miss Tan Jue Jun, celebrate Mr. Afi Roshezry's bday, knowing friends PONTENG class and go to waterfall, selling UTAR Ball’s tix, UTAR Ball committee members so hardworkin, no 8am lecture, tokin 2mum, knowin my bro is ok frm acci, speding evenin wif Tze Huey at the garden, got a job as photographer for few events, snapped nice panorama photos n of cos the weather is nice 2day. wahaha =p

see life is nice la.. =p

Ah Kong

10.25pm 26/3/2011 Penang

Isn't he cute? Damn cute la. Look at his teeth. Hahah. My Ah Kong was so happy during his birthday party last Saturday in Penang.

Im glad i went back to Penang.

QUOTE of the day

Life is awesome because life is unexpected. When life is unexpected, you'll do things that you never thought or plan to do, you'll experience moments that might come only once in your life, and even things that you never want to do in life. That's what makes life colourful.

Mission Possible

Thingsss MUST be settled in 10 days by 5^th April 2011. I’m FULLY occupied, no more new things coming in, let me clear off my debts and commitments.

missing Penang

wheeee!!! I am coming home at 7.15pm. =p

YOU all are quoted

"Well, in life, there's always hurdles. It's how you get over it. Don't worry la, remember there's always a rainbow behind a downpour."
~ Carissa Soon
~ 23/3/2011
~ via SMS

PERIBAHASA of the day

Kerana setitik nila rosak susu sebelanga.

Kerana satu orang, rosak satu pasukan.

朋友們都結婚去了 - 宇珩 (Yu Heng)

QUOTE of the day

It's a sad moment when u have to say goodbye to your friends upon graduation. What to do, it's part of life, we grow and we change. We can't be at the same level forever. So if this is your 3rd year, do something meaningful with your frens and for your friends, at least u'll have something sweet and memorable to store in your mind when you say byebye. No point regret later because time will never stop for you.

YOU are quoted

"Kalau takda hak, kita mati!"

~ Bato Bagi,
~ Naha Jalei longhouse head aka victim of the Bakun Dam project.
~ 2011

*Isn't it true? What are we without our basic liberties? We'll be the human without soul, bodies without heart. Our rights should be protected.

Morning @ UTAR Kampar

8.05pm 15/3/2010

what a small supermoon

people said that tonight's moon will be very beautiful. The news said so too. The Star said the moon will be bigger and brighter. read the news below.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/3/15/nation/8270079&sec=nation

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/3/19/nation/8302314&sec=nation

alright, so,  many people from all around the world stay awake whole night to catch a glimpse on the moon which only appears every 20 years.

Despite the non-stop heavy rain in Kampar, UTAR-ians still kopek their eyes besar-besar to see the moon as if they never see a moon before, including me.

the clouds are so thick, covering the moon. the moon pulak shy shy hiding behind the moon. My friend from KL sms me to look at the supermoom.

finally at 3.30am i saw the moon. i went to the road with my zoom lense. the first thing i saw was not the moon but a cat with her kittten. two of them lying on the road, playing with each other and relaxing. i guess they were waiting for the moon to pop out as well. Then, suddenly, middle of the night, the kitten is hungry n sucks the mother's tits for susu. oppps. i use wrong words to describe the situation ah?? nvm. ya anak kucing minum susu ibu.

watching the kitten 'drinking' milk is so loving. i mean, it's such a loving scene la. after a while the moon finally appeared.

WHAT THE HECK!!

the moon is so damn small la. ayoooooooo. why so funny one. KL's moon so big and bright but Kampar's moon so blehhhh. what a small super moon. no difference with the normal moon also.

you people who's still hoping to see the so-called super moon, go sleep la k. the moon won't suddenly grow bigger la.

Good night.

QUOTE of the day

Do your best, leave no regrets.

Jing Si Aphorisms

Grateful, our hearts would be touched and moved.
Moved, we would be inspired to take action.

~ Master Cheng Yen (Tzu Zhi)

Kampar hujan lagi

Hujan turun lagi

Wah lebat so scary

But sejuk-sejuk syiok sekali

Everyone run back like crazy

Buat orang basah sampai bawah kaki

Tak boleh keluar kena makan magee

Some people already feel sleepy

Sleep la sampai esok pagi

I think many people tonite will be busy

It’s ok to stay awake we drink kopi

If wana last longer use cap Kapal Api

But remember NO Tongkat Ali

Marilah kita menyanyi tak henti

Cepatlah daftar baru boleh undi

Because General Election sudah mau mali

If you behsyiok don’t come to me

You go makan tahi

I wana go snap pics sana sini

I will see you lagi

okla..

I will talk nicely, i will put my words in a better way, i will try to talk only when it's necessary, i will not simply scold people, i will analyze more before i give my opinions, i will try not let my emotions to take over me, i will be good.

Mentally strong Chong Wei beats Lin Dan, wins All-England

Chong Wei defeated Lin Dan in 52-minute match

21 - 17, 21 - 17

yes i'm skinny, so??

Many people, too many to count, too many to remember who are they, commenting that I am skinny ever since I’m just a kid until today.

Er.. ok.. how should I response to this.

Everytime they say something about this, I’ll just listen because what can I do? I have pocket-sized body and so what?? Some adults will even question whether my parents never feed me is it or whether I’m too poor to eat.

And also the normal comments:

“Ayooo skinny la you!” “Why you so skinny one?” “You are so skinny la.”

What the fark??

So what if people are skinny?! Mana u sakit??

Why we always criticize and judge other’s appearance?

Don’t we all going to die at the end of the day?

Stop being so judgmental, so negative, so rude and so sarcastic. Come on people!

Many people scared and feel shy of their appearance. Many people wana change their physical appearance like wear braces, get plump, get skinner, put heavy make up and so on. Why so care?? It’s ok.. everyone has flaw in themselves. Take it as an advantage rather than a disadvantage. No one is perfect. As long as the heart is nice ma can already lo.

This is me, take it or leave it. If you choose a friend because of their appearance, then you TAK LAYAK to be called as a friend. A friend doesn’t choose their friends by the appearance. Accept others if you want other to accept you.